Storytime

Okay, I haven't written a word in 2 weeks. I miss Spork; I miss storytelling! So today I'm going to tell a story—since the only writing I'm allowed to do is blogging. Warning: It will be long. This is a real story from my own teen years, as best as I can remember it.

Woodstock
In all my years of high school, there was only one boy I knew for sure liked me—and not just liked, but liked. It all started on a drama trip. I can't even remember what we were doing, but it was some kind of weekend workshop and only the best actors and techies in school got to go.

In one of these workshops, two boys from another school kept staring at me and my friend Amy. I didn't think anything of it—Amy always got stared at. At one point, we'd counted 19 boys that had a crush on her. And that was just the known ones. So when they followed us out after, I rolled my eyes, expecting the usual hitting-on-Amy affair.

"Hey, you were really good in there," one of the boys said to Amy. He was short, with a buzz cut and flirty smile.

"Thanks," she said, barely looking at him as we headed for our group.

"I'm Sean. Do you wanna go out to lunch?"

I held in my laugh as Amy explained for the thousandth time that she had a boyfriend and actually we were going to meet up with him right now. Sean tried to hide a frown. Classic day with Amy.

"Why didn't you do a piece?" the other boy asked me. I jumped, not realizing that he was walking next to me. He had curly brown hair and a perfect tan—skinnier than me but tall.

"Oh, um...I paint sets. I just tagged along." I looked down. What the heck was going on? He was supposed to be looking at Amy, not me.

"Ah, a techie, cool cool." He jumped in front of me, and I stopped. My face got warm as he held out his hand. "I'm Brennan."

I didn't take his hand—I had bubble issues—but I waved. "Natalie."

He laughed, then came forward and grabbed my hand. He shook it with both his palms around mine. "Nice to meet you, Natalie. I know Amy already shut Sean down, but maybe you'd want to come to lunch with us?"

I recoiled, shocked by how forward this Brennan boy was. No boy ever talked to me, acted interested in me. I was always the friend of the girl with a boyfriend. This had to be a joke. "Uh, sorry, I'm gonna hang out with my friends."

"Alright, cool. See you guys around later maybe." He shoved his hands in his pockets, his smile fading.

"Yeah, maybe."

Amy and I ran off to our friends, joking about the boys who'd hit on us. Except I tried to deny the "hit on" part; I did not get hit on. But in the back of my mind I knew that's what Brennan was doing, and a little part of me felt special for it.

We saw Sean and Brennan a few more times that weekend, but we blew them off. I wasn't interested in a weekend fling anyway, even if Brennan was kind of cute and obviously interested. Then I was back home, positive I'd never see him again since he didn't even go to school in the same town as me.

***

My friend Whitney worked at The Purple Turtle. Yes—The Purple Turtle. It's this iconic joint in the area with a purple roof and a giant, purple-shelled turtle on the sign. The food isn't very great, but it's THE PURPLE TURTLE! And they give you toast with whatever you order, whatever time of day. I still don't know why.

I never had a reason to go to The Purple Turtle, but when I found out Whitney worked there I HAD to visit. She said I should come right when she was about to get off work so we could do something after.

I pulled into The Purple Turtle (can you tell I like saying that?) parking lot around 9PM, ready to see the place for real. And I was hungry, which is the best time to try a place with questionable food quality. I went up to the register, expecting to see Whitney there waiting for me. But it wasn't her—it was a skinny boy with curls poking out of his hat and a wide smile. My eyes bugged out, but I couldn't turn back since he'd already seen me.

"Hey! Natalie!" Brennan said. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, eating?" What I really wanted to do was die. I had no idea he worked there, but I was never coming to visit Whitney again. That was for sure.

He shook his head, this amused smirk on his face. "Of course, what'll you have?"

I'd never ordered there before, so I said a burger and he made some comment about liking girls who eat. I hoped that didn't mean I was fat. I was thicker than him, which kind of made me insecure. Whitney found me while I was waiting for my order, so thankfully I didn't have to stand there and talk to him in my embarrassed state. We sat at a table and she eyed me.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you know Brennan?"

"Kinda..." I explained about the drama thing we'd both been at.

Whitney laughed. "You're that girl? Oh my gosh, he talked about you for like a week! Kept asking me if I knew any hot girls at my school in drama named Natalie."

I blushed. "No way."

"Yeah, but I thought he meant the other Natalie. Sorry."

"Oh, don't be sorry." There were two other very, very pretty Natalies in the drama program. And I wasn't really interested in Brennan finding me in the first place.

Speaking of Brennan, he was coming right for us with my food in tow. He sat next to me, and the two of them joked about working there while I ate in front of them. Because I wasn't embarrassed enough.

I managed to make it out of there without a date, though I wasn't sure why I didn't want to go out with him. Honestly, he was nice. He liked a lot of the same things I did. He was even cute. But maybe that's what scared me—not that it couldn't go anywhere, but that it could.

***

I was running late, for once. I hated being late for school, but there was a new layer of snow outside and I'd slept in. It'd take 10 extra minutes to dig Udell, my gray Pontiac Bonneville, out of its igloo.

"There's something outside for you!" Mom called when she got home from dropping a sibling off at school.

"What?"

She smiled wide. "Go look on the front porch."

I raised an eyebrow, not in the mood for cryptic commands. Or pranks for that matter. If someone had picked today of all days to TP my house...I wrenched the door open.

"What in the...?" I stared at the large, cylindrical object on my front step. Then I read the neon poster paper taped to the front:

Hey Natalie! Here's a water heater. Will you go to the Valentine's Dance with me?
—Woodstock

"Woodstock?" There was a small picture of The Peanuts bird by a phone number. I wanted to pretend I didn't know who this was from, but I was sure I remembered Brennan mentioning that his friends called him that. "Great."

I had this policy that I never turned down a first date...but with my hands shaking and my heart pounding, I was seriously reconsidering.

***

It turned out to be Whitney's water heater, that traitor. She helped him with the whole thing. And she laughed her head off when I came into AP Art that morning stricken with terror. I didn't tell her if I was saying yes or not. I didn't know myself.

I thought about it the whole day. What the heck was my problem? A guy liked me! I'd wanted a guy to like me forever. And now that one obviously did I couldn't get my stomach to stop turning. I was 18, and yet I still didn't feel ready to be in a relationship. To have a boyfriend.

But it was just one date. Brennan deserved one date and I knew it. If I was going to have a boyfriend, he wouldn't have been a bad choice. So when I got home, I dialed the number.

"Hello?" It was definitely him, and now my vocal chords refused to work. "Hello?"

"Um, hi, Brennan?"

"Natalie?" I could feel the smile in his voice. My gut twisted.

"Yeah. I got your...present." I laughed in spite of myself. A water heater—I would never forget that. He did have good taste in ridiculousness. "Thanks."

He laughed. "You're welcome. So, um...do you wanna go? It doesn't have to be anything serious. Just for fun."

"You really want to go with me, don't you." I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. This boy from another school, who was cool and cute and nice, shouldn't want anything to do with dorky me.

"Of course I do. I've never met anyone like you."

I smiled, the fear melting just a little. "Well, then I'll go with you."

***

In Utah they do this thing called a "day date." It's a date before the dance, essentially, where you go do a fun group activity that may or may not be less awkward than the actual dance.

We were going laser tagging with a bunch of his friends. I was nervous as all get out, seeing as I'd never played laser tag and could easily make myself look stupid in front of all his friends. But the idea of shooting things? It could be a nice way to relax.

They picked me up, and Brennan and I sat in the back of Sean's car. He drove way too fast, but Brennan told him to slow down when he saw my face.

When we got to the laser tag place, they made us split up boys vs girls. Because that was so fair. We strapped on our gear and got an hour to shoot the living daylights out of each other. It actually ended up being really fun. I killed Brennan several times, as well as most of the boy team. The girls still totally lost, but I did get the highest girl score.

"You rock!" Brennan held his hand out for a high five, and I slapped it shyly.

"Thanks."

We still had to get ready for the dance, so Sean dropped his date off first and then they headed for my place. It was a good 20 minutes from where they lived. And about ten minutes from my house, The Urge hit. I had to PEE, and I wasn't going to make it home. We were on a country back road...I was doomed.

"Um, Sean?" I leaned forward, biting my lip. "I'm gonna need you to speed—a lot."

"What? I thought you said—"

"I need to pee, man. And unless you freaking hurry up you're gonna have a very wet back seat."

They both laughed, but Sean floored it. He's was going over 90 in a 45; he hit the mouth of the canyon fast. But I knew I wasn't going to make it home.

"Turn here!" I screamed. Whitney's house was close. I'd been there a few times, but not enough to remember exactly. "Turn left!"

"Where are we going?" Brennan asked.

"I'm not gonna make it home." We were on a residential street, but I knew it wasn't Whitney's. Crap. I didn't have time to turn around. "Just stop right here."

Sean slammed on the brakes and I ran for the nearest house, hoping someone would be home and that they'd let me use the bathroom. A freaky old guy answered the door, but he did let me use the facilities. When I got back to the car, both the boys were staring at me.

"Did you know those people?" Brennan asked.

I shook my head. "I really had to pee."

He laughed hard, touching my hand just slightly. "And here I thought you were pretending so you could get rid of us faster."

"Why would I want to do that?" I blushed, realizing that he might take that more flirty than intended. But I couldn't deny the truth. "Today's been a blast."

He opened the car door for me when we got to my house. When our eyes met, it was the first time I noticed they were hazel and not brown. He smiled. "See you in a few hours."

***

I hate to admit I wore ugly clothes to the dance, but I did. I was determined not to look too nice—so as to emphasize that this wasn't a big deal. I wore a teal striped shirt and a bright blue skirt I got at DI (a store like Good Will, etc.). I didn't even wear nice shoes—just my white skater shoes with blue shoelaces...and white tights. Oh baby.

I looked in the mirror, cringing at my hair. It was too short. I'd just barely got it cut again into that spikey pixy thing, and the lady went to town. I almost looked like a boy, were it not for my curves. I thought I looked fat, too, especially in comparison to Brennan. What did he see in me again?

I almost put on something nicer, but the doorbell rang. He was early! I ran upstairs to answer it before my mom. I didn't want her taking pictures—the dance ones would be bad enough.

Brennan told me I looked nice, but I didn't believe him. Somehow we still got to the dance late though he was early—mostly because Sean's date took forever. He said he was glad I wasn't high maintenance like that...then I worried I was too low maintenance. Like, so low maintenance I was ugly and he was just being polite.

It was cool going to a dance not at my high school. I wasn't as embarrassed to be myself. Nobody knew who I was. No one expected anything of me. We really did have a lot of fun. So when we sat at a table to take a break, I shouldn't have been so surprised by what Brennan said.

"You are amazing, Natalie. You're the coolest girl I've ever met." He looked into my eyes, hardly blinking.

I looked away, clasping my hands together just in case he was getting ideas. "Shut up. I am not."

"You are too. You're so smart and funny and real. Any guy would kill to have a girlfriend like you." He scooted closer, and my bubble became a brick wall. He said girlfriend. Oh my gosh, he wanted me to be his girlfriend? No...there was no way. We hardly knew each other and I had no idea if I liked him that way or not. And if I had to think that hard about it, didn't that mean I didn't?

Brennan deserved a girl who was crazy about him. A girl who didn't have to wonder if she liked him and how much and if she really wanted a relationship. I couldn't pretend—I was no actress. I was a techie, a no bull kinda girl. And I hated that I'd have to hurt his feelings because of that.

"Well, thanks." I folded my arms, feeling the exact opposite of the girl he claimed I was.

"You're welcome."

He didn't seem to notice my decision, and I couldn't find the words to say it. He hugged me too long when he dropped me off at the doorstep, I think hoping for a kiss I was far too chicken to give.

***

Brennan called me a few times, and we talked a little. But I was a horrible phone person to begin with, so I always found a reason to get off. I was afraid he thought something would happen, or was happening. And I was trying to figure out why I didn't want that. I still don't have that answer, except that I was scared.

Then one day after school he showed up—at my high school. I had my huge art portfolio in one hand, and a roll of posters in the other as I headed for the parking lot. And then there he was in the hall, smiling at me with his arms outstretched. He hugged me, and I couldn't hug back with all my stuff.

"Where've you been?" he whispered.

I couldn't breathe. What the heck was he doing here? He couldn't have come just to see me. But then maybe he did. My stomach twisted up as I caught the looks on my friends' faces. I hadn't mentioned him at all, which I'd just realized was horrible. "Um, I've been really busy."

He pulled back, and I knew he knew. The smile dropped off his face and he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Right, busy. Should have guessed a girl like you wouldn't have time for..." He shrugged. My eyes started to sting, but I had no words. "Good luck with everything, Natalie."

Brennan turned and ran, while I forced the tears down with a gulp. My friends asked about him, and I shook my head. "He's just a boy I met on that drama trip, that's all."

But he was so much more than that. He was the first boy who saw the real me and had the courage to say it; I just didn't have the courage to believe it.