Trust The Reader

Many of you know that I am in a unique situation right now. I'm working exclusively with an agent on revisions to Relax, I'm a Ninja, but I'm not signed with this agent. I like to call my experience thus far "Writer's Finishing School." I've become a much more polished writer this year. Talking about what I've learned would take posts and posts worth, not to mention information I'm not at liberty to divulge currently.

But I did want to talk about one thing today, and it's something this incredibly intelligent agent pointed out very early on in the process. I wasn't trusting my reader.

What does that mean? It boils down to not trusting that your audience will "get" what you're trying to give them. This leads to over explaining and repetition, which is annoying to a smart reader (and guess what, I hear most readers are smart people).

I honestly had no clue I was doing this until I got it pointed out to me. After feeling like a total fool for about a day, I went to work on trusting my reader to understand the characters/story I was telling.

Revising Void, I'm once again ashamed at how repetitive my prose can be. It's like I'm beating the ideas to a pulp. I can hear my imaginary readers saying, "We get it already! Charles is a powerful wizard! Stacia is the favorite! Coral likes not having magic! For the love, I KNOW!"

One of my worst sins was explaining what was just said in dialogue. It's pretty bad at times. This example isn't from my work, but it's sadly close in some places:

"That's not a good idea," he said. He seemed sure we shouldn't go in the cave.

Uh...duh? At least I've given myself a ton of laughs editing. Just call me Captain Obvious. Anyway, I'm really grateful that I'm learning to trust my reader. It makes me sound like less of an idiot. Too many people already know how dumb I can be at times.

Get Yourself Some Happy!

Hey guys! So I've been noticing something lately. People are down just about as much as the stock market. There's this awful haze over so many people I love both online and in real life. I wish I could help them be happy, but it's completely out of my control.

Now, I'm not saying that they don't have any right to be down—there are lots of valid reasons for a good cry these days. But I've always believed that after I have that good cry (and even a tantrum if I need), I should waste no time picking myself up and getting some happy. Whether I like it or not, there are some things I just can't change. But there's one thing I can always change—and that's my attitude.

Now before all you cranky/sad people come after me for being too ray-of-sunshine when life freaking sucks, just hear me out a second. Story time:

Back in my teen days, I used to go to girl's camp every summer for one week. I'm no camper, but it was part of my cultural/religious gig. So off I went with a pack of girls into the woods every year, knowing I couldn't whine too much before my overly peppy leaders would try and make me happy. Which, curiously enough, would only make me more cranky. For the most part, I did pretty well having the "right" attitude about girl's camp. I participated. I even had fun for sleeping on the ground and smelling like campfire.

But one year I was (sorry guys for even saying this) on my period. Camping + Period = SUCKS. I get really sick at least one day—and that fateful day we happened to have a five mile hike scheduled. Of course I didn't want to go. I wasn't even sure I'd make it. I begged to stay at camp—two other girls and a leader were!

One of my leaders wouldn't let me. I was mad; it wasn't fair. She was being completely unreasonable. I'll never forget what she said:

"Natalie, you don't want to miss this. Now you can either choose to make the best of it or continue to be more miserable than necessary."

The words struck me—not in a humbling way, unfortunately. What, did you think I was going to tell you I nodded, realizing my attitude was making things worse? Oh, no, no. Those words hurt my pride. Uh, like, I didn't know that already? And gosh, I'm in pain! My leader doesn't know squat about what I'm going through. How dare she accuse me of making myself more miserable—I'm trying. Seriously.

They made me hike, and I made extra sure to be as miserable as I could so my leader wouldn't think she had any influence on me. I walked really slow, slower than I needed to, and I grumbled about how hot it was. I didn't talk to my friends, even though several stayed behind just to keep me company. I ignored how gorgeous the mountains were. I refused to admit the majesty of the lake. Okay, the Bald Eagle we spotted was cool, but I wasn't about to say it out loud.

And then we got to the water fall. I'm not positive, but I think it was called Hidden Falls because out of nowhere it appears. You can hear the water, but you can't see a river or stream. Then you turn a corner and there between the trees is a pool and a cascade of water. It was beautiful, but after all my moaning I didn't feel like I deserved to see it.

I sat by myself far away from my group to eat lunch. I didn't want them to see me cry. I felt like an idiot for not understanding what my leader had said before. She wasn't saying that faking happy would miraculously turn the hike into a walk in the park. She was trying to tell me that it would be hard no matter what, but it would be worth it.

I am positive that hike wouldn't have been any easier had I changed my attitude. And I don't think I even had to be happy, just not so freaking grumpy. Let's say...agreeable. I still would have huffed and puffed my way up that mountain. But maybe if I had embraced the challenge (made extra hard by having pain to begin with), I wouldn't have missed the bits of joy on the way.

Maybe I would have laughed along with my friends. Maybe I would have studied the jagged tips of the mountains closer. Maybe I would have taken in the beautiful reflections that bounced off the lake. Maybe I would have smiled at the eagle.

Sure, I made it to the end of the hike. I got to see the pretty waterfall. But as I sat there listening to the rushing water and eating my sandwich, I couldn't help but think about all the things I'd squandered on the way there. And why? Because I decided to be more miserable than necessary.

I missed out. The worst part about it was that *I* was the one who deprived myself the joys of the journey. Not only had I missed out on the great moments, but I made the hard parts harder. And I couldn't even fully enjoy the destination because I regretted how I'd acted. Talk about stupid!

I wish I could tell you that I changed my whole attitude right there. That I went to my friends and smiled the whole way down the mountain. I didn't. I decided I should eat my humble pie alone, but I did eat it. And when we left to head back to camp, I made sure to really take in the mountains, lake, and towering trees. At least I could get a piece of what I missed, though the Bald Eagle didn't make a reappearance. Some things you can't ever get back.

That day I learned more than I ever admitted until now. Having a good attitude isn't about pretending for other people or trying to make a bad situation into a great one. It's about being in the right mind set to enjoy the sweet, beautiful moments when they do come.

Saturday Sketch 4.8 (Video Edition)

This could be totally boring, but I thought it might be a fun experiment at least. I probably won't do it again unless I can figure out how to speed up the video so it's not 9 minutes long...

Evil Tag

"Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie."

It's like Carrie knew I had nothing better to do today! I had no clue what to post, but now I do. Wee. I haven't been tagged in so long. I feel kinda special.

Pride: What is your biggest contribution to the world?
I'm actually a muse (which is why I'm so inhumanly hot), and I'm thereby responsible for every good book out there. Nay, every piece of genius writing ever written. So you all say you love Dickens. Yeah, you're really saying you love me because he couldn't write a thing without me. Shakespeare was a total hack until he called on me. Same with Tolstoy and even Tolkien. Rowling has me to thank for her genius. Gaiman too. My ability to inspire is beyond mortal comprehension.

Envy: What do your coworkers wish they had which is yours?
Well, Aphrodite's had it out for me for a long time because she wants my boobs. I know, shallow, right? But she's kinda like that. Apollo's pissed at me for keeping so many people holed up in the dark with their writing, wishes he has my addictive allure. The other muses wish they had my dedicated worshipers—seriously, there's no other group of artists that are so determined to succeed in a field with so little room for new voices. It's lovely. I have mortals begging me all the time.

Gluttony: What did you eat last night?
I feasted with the Olympians last night, so what didn't I eat? That Zeus sure knows how to throw a party. Of course, he just puts Dionysus in charge. If the food wasn't enough, talk about high quality ambrosia. They pulled out the 465 AD bottles. Whew, not a bad year at all.

Lust: What really lights your fire?
Nothing is more sexy than a man who can write me the perfect words. I'd make love to him in a heartbeat. Now if I could just find him. Writers are so weak without me.

Anger: What is the last thing that really pissed you off?
Every so often, idiot mortals cling on to writing that I haven't inspired. They squeal and screech about it like is a friggin' golden apple. They make it famous without my approval. UGH! It makes me want to take away my inspiration entirely.

Greed: Name something you keep from others.
Well, not everyone can have my influence. All writers seem to think they're entitled to it, silly mortals. No. I save my inspiration for those who are truly worthy of it. And by worthy I mean famous, hot, or rich. Or all three. Of course, the other writers can bribe me. I take visa, master card, and pagan sacrifice.

Sloth: What's the laziest thing you've ever done?
I took a vacation to Saturn during the Victorian Era. But it was my first vacation since Sanskrit! I almost regret what I found in print when I came back, though. *Shudder*

The Big #10

I'll keep this short. I finished my 10th book yesterday! Transparent weighs in at a healthy 63,500 words, making it my shortest book, actually. I think I'm just getting more efficient and less indulgent in unnecessary information.

I'm really happy about that accomplishment, though I'm already thinking about the massive changes I need to make to the end. It's so...not climactic enough. I'll figure it out eventually. I really love this book, but onto the back burner it goes for a good simmer. Can't wait to pull it back to the front someday.

For the time being, it's back to Void! I was right in the middle of a massive edit when I had to change gears and work on the ninjas once again. I have about 33k left to rework and tighten. I'm looking forward to getting Coral's story in better shape. I think I might be happy enough with it after this round to print it out and line edit. Gasp.

Answers to Awesome Questions

Thank you all for asking such great questions this Q&A round! Let's get on with this.

Tess asked: How did your ninja story evolve? Was there one thing that prompted the idea, or a series of things? What was its genesis?
Most of my ideas come from small moments of serendipity—Relax, I'm a Ninja was no different. The first threads of the idea actually came from ninja flair buttons I saw on Facebook. I thought to myself, "Man, there's a lot of people out there joking around about being ninjas." And then I got THE thought—"Dude, what if there was a nerd out there who was a ninja for real?"

That's when Toshiro (Tosh) Ito was born. Nerd by day. Ninja by night. And I was totally afraid of him because I'd never written a male MC. But he wouldn't shut up. He was both cocky and insecure because of his two identities. Both funny and serious. And also blind to what was going on around him. He was so intriguing I had to suck it up and take the plunge.

Once I get a character, they always start "talking" to me. That's how the story evolves in my head; I ask my MC a lot of questions. He told me about his D&D buddies, about his dad's dojo in San Francisco, about his pathetic crush on the hot blonde cheerleader, about the nerd girl he couldn't seem to get rid of. That's when Courtney and Amy came into the picture, and things got really complicated from there.

For the most part, I don't outline. I just start writing. So with the little buds of ideas and characters, I got to work. That's when things really started coming to life. In the first chapter a friend didn't show up for D&D...so I asked why. That's when the villains were born. Tosh also got dared to spy on Courtney in that first chapter...that's when I realized she was a ninja. Then my head pretty much exploded with the full story.

Davin asked: 1. How does one apply for the Order of the Blog Ninja? I seriously want one of those badly, partially because I studied ninjutsu for a few years. That's right, it's personal!
That's Carrie Harris' turf, Davin. I found a video that made her snarf, so I got in the SSOBN.

2. Can you talk about being productive. I know you always have ideas and you seem to get them down quickly. I really admire that. I think my own self-critic slows me down. So, how do you keep from slowing yourself down?
Hmm, I think part of comes down to personality. I've always been a "creative soul" kind of girl, so the ideas just constantly play around in my brain. But more importantly—I don't throw out what others might think is a "stupid idea" or an "overused idea." I allow myself to consider the ridiculous as reality, and that opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. The inner critic is not allowed to dog on my ideas; I only let him in the room after the ideas are realized (aka: written).

Part of it also comes from honest to goodness hard work. I treat writing like a job. I don't believe in writer's block. And I write everday (though I sometimes take off on the weekends). I used to work at a magazine—I'm very comfortable with deadlines. I'm used to getting the words out whether I want to or not, whether they're working or not, whether I like the subject or not.

The last thing that keeps me from slowing down is the fact that I love to write. I always have, always will. Most days, it barely feels like work. I just enjoy what I do. I enjoy my characters. I enjoy dicovering their stories. I enjoy editing (hey, I did minor in it). Even if I never find success, I won't be able to stop writing. I just have too much fun.

Nick asked:What do you want for your birthday?
Well, we're kind of going to Florida for my birthday, so I figure that's enough. You know dinner out is enough for me. Of course, you could throw in a B&N gift card.

If you could pick one cyborg enhancement, what would it be?
Wow, that's a tough one. I would say the emotional chip, but then I'd have to be in the military and that wouldn't be so fun. I think for now I'd settle for a chip that puts me to sleep the second I go to bed and keeps me asleep. I have such a hard time sleeping these days.

Sara asked: Favorite type of chocolate?
Dark chocolate—70%. Preferrably foreign. Most American chocolates are too waxy.

Favorite way to eat eggs?
Scrambled. Only way I can eat them. Runny=dry heaves.

If you could go back in time to any period in history, what would you wear?
Well, um...how can I say this? I have big boobs (oh, that's not very tactful, heh). No, I'm serious. They're a pain no matter how great guys think they are. With this in mind, I'm going to have to rule out any time period in which they did not have bras or corsets. I just couldn't handle that kind of...freedom. I'm thinking I would make one dang sexy 50s housewife. I have curves like that. But just looks-wise; I'm a terrible housewife.

Kat asked: In a perfect world, which of your manuscripts would you want to be your debut novel?
That's a hard question! I think Relax, I'm a Ninja is way up there, which is good because it has the best chance of being my debut at this point. I also wouldn't mind seeing Void as my debut, just because I think it's pretty representative of my style overall. That, and there's wizards, motorcycles, the invention of magi-tek, and hot boys. I've also spent a lot of time on that book and it deals with themes that are "close the my heart."

BJW asked: What is your favorite ninja weapon?
How can I pick just one? Right now, I'm really digging the sai. In my research, I gained a new respect for the versatility of that weapon. Not only do you have a dagger, essentially, but the prongs give you the ability to lock your opponent's weapon or even disarm them. They are small and concealable and deadly.

Do you have a grappling hook? What other ninja gadgets do you use that would impress me?
First off, I don't need grappling hooks. I'm that good;P And as for other gadgets, I would say the most impressive are the poisons. But those are secret, so that's all I can say.

And what's your favorite kind of milkshake? Please be specific.
I like a good chocolate milkshake. And it has to be a shake you can suck through a straw—not the thick ice creamy shakes. Around these parts, the place that sells my ideal milkshake is a burger place called Fudrucker's.

Adam asked: What's your plan? Seriously, like what are you gonna do when you get published and all famous and stuff?
HA! I have no idea. While I do envision myself published someday, it's very hard for me to picture being "famous." I imagine I'll be doing a lot of the same things I do now—writing, editing, raising my babies, cooking, etc. But then I'd probably have a few extra things to do, like maybe getting to attend a writing conference. Or promoting my book. Or trying not to freak out over how I'm supposed to do taxes now that I'm actually getting PAID to write.

Really, I'm choosing not to see that far into the future. I have to focus on what is going on now, and that's enough to think about. Maybe once I get past the step I'm currently on, my vision will become a little clearer.

Christopher Goodwine asked: Which came first for you, being a mommy, a ninja or a cyborg?
I've always been a ninja at heart, so that definitely came first. Then I had kids, so mommy next. And they wore me out so much I needed cybernetic enhancements, so...yeah, the cyborg thing is pretty new.

Lois asked: How do you keep yourself sane with all those stories running through your head?
See, that's the thing—I'm NOT sane. Most of the time I'm pretty sure I'm the furthest from sanity you can get.

Do you ever draw realism or do you stick exclusively to animé?
Every once in a while I get this funny idea in my head that I should try to draw something real. Then I try. And it sucks. I laugh a lot. Then I go back to what I'm good at. I consider myself a cartoonist. Realism is lost on me. And besides, it's not fun;)

Whirlochre asked: What would you do if you found a family of squirrels in your living room?
That would entirely depend on whether or not they're potty trained squirrels. If they weren't, then I'd kick them out. I have to deal with enough poop as it is with two toddlers. If they were, then I'd teach them to wash and fold my laundry and make them nice fluffy beds to sleep in.

Lady Glamis asked: 1. Are you happy with all of your work? Do you fall out of love with it after you've written "better" stuff?
For the most part, I still love my work. There are two books I don't have a ton of love for, but I still love their stories and characters. The only time I "fall out of love" is if I've been editing a lot. But once I get a breather the love usually comes right back.

2. Does Keld die in Sealed? Seriously, I'm trying to finish!!! You don't have to answer that.
Just finish the book, silly. Also, I love Keld, sigh, sniff. Hehe.

3. What's your favorite candy? (takes notes for our writer's retreat...)
Not a huge candy fan, actually. It's just...I don't know. I look at every M&M like it has "5 calories" written on it instead of an "M." Hard candy is too sugary and makes me lightheaded if I'm not careful. They just add up and don't get me full. And I don't like milk chocolate as much as dark chocolate...too sweet. I'd rather cook something really savory or sweet and fill my craving that way. Like, perhaps, a scone with honey butter. Or overloaded nachos. Or a plate of pasta. Or sticky rice with a spicy stir-fry.

4. If you could choose your debut novel, which one would it be? Why?
See Kat's question.

Curious? Then Ask.

I feel seriously boring these days. I don't know, maybe my mind is just on other things. (Like, my WIP or the fact that I have that revision out or my new love for Fullmetal Alchemist [seriously, forget Edward Cullen—Edward Elric is where it's at].)

So, you guys want to know anything about me you don't already know? Feel free to ask. A teacher of mine once told me the only stupid question is the one that goes unasked. That's taken me quite far in life so far—better to look stupid for a second than commit a stupid error over and over.

Also, is there anything you'd love me to write a post about? I'm so going dry on ideas. Well, I have ideas, but then I feel like the same subjects get beat to death out in blogland.

I'll answer questions tomorrow afternoon.

Looking Back at Old Stuff

If you have a few old manuscripts in the vault, I imagine you know what it feels like to consider digging one up and taking a look. Personally, I get this pit in my stomach. I can't help but think how bad it might be. The writing will be appalling! The story will be flawed! I'll feel like a fool for ever thinking that book was a good idea!

There are some I won't look at—like my zombies. I know the story is flawed beyond repair. I would need a full rewrite. There's no reason to open it and see if anything is salvageable. But then there are others I still love. These are the ones that tempt me to go back. Maybe I can breathe new life into them. Maybe there's still something great about them.

When I start thinking like that, I have to take a peek in the vault.

This weekend I went over Sealed—my bittersweet tale of what happens when elves fall in love. I haven't looked at it since January. Guess what? It was GOOD. Okay, there was a lot of messy language to clean up (can I use "just" anymore on this page!?!?), but overall the story flowed well and held the emotions I remembered when I wrote it.

That honestly surprised me. I expected serious problems. Sealed was one of those whirlwind books. I wrote it in 15 days after I'd taken a month off writing. Don't shoot me, I spent a whole month making notes, researching, and writing outlines. When it came time to write, I just couldn't stop.

I didn't intend to put Sealed aside, but I did after just one beta round. Another book came a long, one whose first paragraph happened to win a contest. I wouldn't say I regret it, but I do think I took this idea for granted in a way. It's special. It's still good. I'm glad I have it ready to go if need be.

But for now, back in the vault it goes with all my other imaginary friends. It's sure getting crowded in there...

Saturday Sketch 4.7

Believe it or not (and if you know me you totally believe it), but I'm approaching the end of yet another WIP—Transparent. I'm right in the middle of the climax...just have to figure out how it all works out. I'll probably be done by the end of the week. Wee.

And that would be...my 10th book. I know. It's disgusting.

Anyway, this is Carlos Navarro from Transparent. He, Bea, and their brothers make up The Pack, my MC's group of friends. Yes, they have panther tails and several animal-like qualities (like night vision and heightened hearing). Carlos is kind of the comic relief, if you consider his slightly perverted comments funny. He likes girls a tad too much, but he can't seem to snag one.

Book Commentary: Fragile Eternity

Short, Spoilerles Summary: Aislinn and Seth are still adjusting to the faerie world they've been thrust into. Her being the new Summer Queen is no small strain on their relationship. They want forever together, but mortal and fey aren't meant to be.

This is the third book in Melissa Marr's faerie series, and it is all about the aftermath of what happened in the first two books (Wicked Lovely and Ink Exchange). And if you thought the relationships in the first two were a tangled mess, let's just say they look simple in comparison to what's going on in Fragile Eternity.

While these books are definitely on the grittier side of my reading preferences (Ink Exchange was particularly dark, but rightly so), I have a sick love affair with them. They are painful—the layered love triangles, the seeming cold indifference of the fey, the fact that no one is ever truly happy EVER. And yet they fascinate me.

A few reasons why:

1. I just love the way Marr writes. She jumps pov's all the time, and yet she makes it work so incredibly well. And not just two or three pov's, more like five or six. That is not easy. Props, Melissa, props. She takes such liberty on description as well, which is extremely refreshing.

2. Her immortal characters feel immortal. Not every writer pulls this off—you've read the books where immortals act like grandparents. Uh, no. Immortals should be ageless, not old. Keenan, the Summer King, feels nine centuries old—his priorities are based on almost a millenia of experience. The weight of Niall's history is aparent. The all-consuming eternity that is Sorcha, the High Queen, permeates everything. If I ever mess around with immortality, I'm taking notes from these books.

3. Her mortal (and recently turned immortal) characters feel young. You can feel Aislinn's inexperience in comparison to the other court monarchs. She makes mistakes based on that inexperience. You can feel Seth's youthful passion, and yet see that he can't quite comprehend the consequences of it. Also masterfully done.

4. The tension is thick, heavy. Even when nothing is happening, the utter weight of the circumstances is overwhelming to me. Everything good in the world hangs by a thread—it could all be lost in one blink. War isn't at the doorstep—it's turning the knob. I admire Marr's ability to keep that fragile balance in place. It must be exhausting.

So while I'm sure the fourth book is going to be just as painful and bittersweet as the first three have been, I eagerly await the day I can read it. Because like a fool, I'm really hoping for some kind of happy ending eventually, though I have a feeling it'll never quite work out.

Unstumped

Turns out complaining about being stumped was enough to unstump my brain this time. Man, I should have thought about that two weeks ago. Here I was trying not to be whiny, trying to be a mature writer. Heh. I guess I just don't work like that.

I'm definitely back in the groove again—wrote 2 chapters today. I'm thinking about writing more, but I should probably give it a rest to let things percolate for the next scene.

Besides, my exercise bike is calling to me. Okay, not really. I'm just sick of my flab, which is reminding me that I should get on that stinking bike. Now that all that writing's been done, it's time to get working!

Cartoon Crushes

Note: This post is mostly for Stephanie, who did a post on HCB's (Hot Cartoon Boys). Everyone else is totally free to ignore this.

Warning: You are about to get a glimpse of just how dorky I really am. If you want to keep thinking I'm cool, you might not want to read this.

Well, I know a few things about HCB's...seeing as the majority of my teens years were spent pining over guys that didn't exist except on paper. Sigh. Those were the days. Cartoon guys never let you down. Cartoon guys are always there with their dreamy eyes and unrealistic ideals. Sigh.

Let's start at the beginning: Mamoru (Darien in America) from Sailor Moon. Yes, I was of that generation. It's still a little weird to think of Sailor Moon as "old school," but that's probably what all the kids see it as now. Gosh, all my cartoon crushes are probably old school.
After Mamoru came, uh, like half the cast of Dragonball (and Z and GT). Gohan and Trunks being heavy hitters.

But honestly, all the muscle got old. I mean, when they went super saien....they had muscles that didn't even exist on human bodies. A tad much. Stopped being hot.

That's when I moved on to the hotties of Fushigi Yuugi. Oh man, one of the best love triangles of all time. Two hot ancient Chinese guys, one ditsy little school girl/priestess. Sigh.

This is Tamahome, a farmboy/street fighter. (Yes, you're allowed to drool.)

And this is Hotohori, the young Emperor. (I'm starting to remember why I loved this series so much.)

Tenchi, from Tenchi Muyo, was also adorable.
I had a very long standing Crush on Van from Escaflowne. I mean, it's enough that he's a brooding young king from a ravaged country...but he also controls Escaflowne, a mythical machine/dragon...oh, and that's not all...


VAN HAS WINGS—yeah, I thought so.


And these were just the anime guys. Let's not forget I also played RPG's (Role Playing Games)! I've mentioned more than once that I was obsessed with Final Fantasy. Not only are the games like playing books, but they happen to have really HOT main characters.

Like Cloud, from Final Fantasy VII.


Or Squall from Final Fantasy VIII.


And then there's Tidus from Final Fantasy X.


Okay, I better stop now. I'm feeling sufficiently nerdy and swoony at the same time. But yeah, cartoon guys=hot.

Stumped

This doesn't happen often. I'm actually stumped about what's supposed to happen next in my WIP, Transparent. I know! It's insane. I'm trying not to freak out about it. It's not a big deal, right? Writers get stumped all the time, right? Right? Please tell me that's true.

It's weird because I know how it's all supposed to end, but I just can't seem to work out this current sequence. I had an abduction planned, but it seemed too soon. It just came out of nowhere...not in the right place. Something is supposed to happen before that. BUT WHAT?

Hmm, maybe I need to question my villain more and he'll tell me what's up. Of course, he doesn't quite know everything either...arg.

I don't know. I just don't know. Everything has built up spectacularly so far! I really didn't see this coming, especially since I technically know what's going to happen. I just can't seem to get it on the page the right way.

What do you guys do when you get stumped? Do you just wait for the inspiration to hit? Do you power through it? Do you talk it out with a friend?

Ohm...

Let's all have a peaceful round of meditation, shall we? I sent off my manuscript again this morning, and I'm determined to act like a mature adult and not freak out. I did my best. The book is great. And what will be will be. It's all good...as long as I don't think too hard about it.

Ohm...

Honestly though, it's not so bad this time. Don't get me wrong, I'm still shaking a little, but it's more "I wonder if they'll like it" and "What will they suggest next?" Before it felt more "Omg, they'll hate it and throw me to the curb, laughing in my general direction." So I can handle these nerves just fine. I can even eat food.

Ohm...

And I know I keep saying this, but man, Relax, I'm a Ninja is so very much better than I could ever imagine. Even though the changes have been a challenging experience, I can't imagine not having made them. I read it out loud for the last reread, and my husband listened and said "Wow! It's so much better this way!" I could not have been happier with his reaction. And it's completely true.

Ohm...

So I'm feeling surprisingly good. Considering the seemingly frazzled vibe in the air lately, I'm grateful for that. It's summer for goodness gracious, how about we all grab a drink (virgin piña colada for me, please) and lounge by the virtual pool? I'll be grilling hamurgers for dinner. Bring a book, too. I'm currently reading Fragile Eternity by Melissa Marr. Mmm, Seth. Sorry if you don't like my music, I'm not changing it.

My Creative Process: From Sketch To Full Color

As promised, I'm going to go step by step and show you what goes into a full color drawing. I use prismacolor pencils, which are oil based and work a little bit like paint when you apply the lead liberally.

Step 0: I think. I'm not even sure you can call this a step, but it's kinda like one just like in writing. I think about what I want to draw. Once I get a subject in mind, I then think about how I want to put them on the page. I usually get a "layout" in my head and start sketching from there.

Step 1: I sketch. I like to use a mechanical pencil to sketch. The lead always stays the same width. It usually doesn't take me too long to sketch. This one was more detailed, thanks to Coral's dress, so it took about an hour.

Sketching is fun—you can just erase your mistakes and experiment. Oh...kinda like first drafting. Hmm, no wonder I write so many books.


Step 2: I ink. I use a black ink pen to go over the pencil lines I've done. It actually takes a long time to ink. This one took probably about two hours. You can't mess up, so I go slower and make sure each line is perfect. I always start with the smaller figures closest to the right side of the page. Why? I'm left-handed. I'd smudge the ink if I started on the left.

This is kind of like that first edit. You're going over your work, picking the best of the sketch lines, and then setting those in stone or chopping them from the plot.







Step 3: I erase. Once I get all the ink on and it dries, I erase the remaining pencil lines. I'm not sure if you can see it, maybe if you click to enlarge the pictures.

This would be like a line edit—making the drawing crisp and perfect. And you really can't leave the pencil behind. If you try to color with the pencil still on, it smudges with the color and leaves ugly gray lines in your pigment.


Step 4: I add more ink. Once I have the basic lines, I always go back and add more shadow and depth to the figures. It's a subtle thing, but as you can see there's a big difference between this image and the Step 3 image. It packs a bigger punch.

In writing, I'd say this is like revisiting the scenes in your book and making sure they have the impact you intend times ten.


Step 5: I color. This takes for-freaking-ever. It's like going through your book and making sure every word is the right one, every line a dialogue perfect, every moment exact. I spent about five hours coloring this 9" x 12" page. I usually start with the small figures—particularly their skin.
Then I move on to their hair.
For every part of the colored drawing, I start with a base color. On Coral's dress it's a mid-range purple.
Then I add low-lights, as you can see in this picture.

After the low-lights comes the highlights. Now the fabric looks like it has dimension to it. I added extra highlights to get a more satin-like sheen.

Once I have the clothing taken care of, I fill in the rest of the details. On Coral's dress that was the beading, shoes, and purse. I used a metallic gold and silver pencil for the beads, which doesn't come across great in the picture. They actually glimmer on the page.

I do the same thing for each figure. Coral's Void side got the same treatment here: base color, low-lights, and highlights.

Once the central figures are done. I move to the background figures and do the same thing, going from right to left to minimize smearing from my left-handedness.



Then I fill in the background color. And looking back, I'd love to change it and push the green up through where Charles and Luke's heads meet. That's driving me crazy. Oh well. Like writing, there are changes best left for the next project...


And once all that is finished, I take a picture and show you guys. I don't know if it shows the hours of work a put into it, but I sure hope it does on some level.

Looking at my own work like this has been enlightening. I spend a lot of time on this stuff! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it immensely, but 8 hours is a lot for my "hobby." lol. I guess that's why I don't often do a full color with so much detail. It's a lot of work.

And just like in my writing, I tend to be an obsessive perfectionist. I still see how I could have done it better, how I want to fix things next time I do a full color. While I'm sure you all think it's just great how it is. Funny how that works.

Void "Poster" (Saturday Sketch 4.6)

I said I'd "go all out" for a drawing one week—so here it is. Tomorrow I will be breaking down my drawing process, for those of you who care. I took pictures at almost every step of creating this picture. (And yeah, I really need a scanner...it's so not that blurry in real life, sigh.)

This is Coral Starfall (both sides of her) from Void, my "pet project" I can't seem to put down. The two boys in the background are Luke and Charles. I don't know why, but I just love this story. I wrote it last August/October, and I've never queried it. Actually, I'm still revising. I first wrote it in third person, but have since changed it to first person and cut about 7,000 words. I still have a fair amount to cut...at least 3k more...as well as some changes to make. I just can't get to them until I finish up Relax, I'm a Ninja.

I thought I'd share one of the scenes I added in revisions, for those of you who've read the old version of this book.

A small clip from Chapter 7:

For Max Readability

I'm about to go all snarky typographer on you, just so you're warned. I love blogs, I really do, but I'm going to fess up right now and admit there are some I struggle reading. Not because they are boring—but because they literally hurt my eyes. It's not so bad if the post is short, but if I stumble on an essay my eyes burn and water by the end...if I make it that far.

*And yes, I know I could use google reader or something, but I also like to see what kinds of designs people are using on their sites. That whole personality thing, and layout design curiosity.*

For those of you who don't know, readability is the word typographers use for describing how easy or difficult a text is on the eyes. There are things you can do—proven things—to increase the readability of any text.

I'm not saying you must follow these rules to have perfect readability—style plays a big part in type design as well. It's always a battle between style and how much readability you want to sacrifice. So break the "rules" all you want, just know that you are making your text harder to read, and thereby fewer people may read it. Also, more people may read longer if their eyes aren't burning in squinted agony.

Serif Fonts: These are easier for the eyes to read for long periods of time. Notice the majority of books are printed in serif fonts. What you are now reading is a serif font—one with "tails" on the letters. Arial would be an example of a sans serif font. It's been found that the tails help our eyes move smoothly to the next letter/word, like a mental cursive.

Font size: Ideal reading font size is between 10pt and 12pt depending on the font. Too big, and the eyes are overwhelmed with the shapes. Too small, and the eyes can't freaking see the words. Of course age plays a role in choosing. The magazine I worked for had an older audience, so we opted for closer to 12pt because of that.

Line Length: The ideal is between 3 and 4 inches for book text, and I find I like this length on blogs as well. When I come across a blog with a super long line length, it bugs the crap out of me. The longer the line, the harder it is for the eye to keep track and move down to the next line of text.

Black on White: A dark text on a light background in the easiest to read. That's not to say that white on black doesn't look cool or set a mood or is impossible to read—but it does sacrifice a large amount of readability, especially for longer text. The extra contrast is best used in decorative text.

Left Justified, Ragged Right: Text justified to the left is what we expect to see and thus the easiest for our eyes. Centering or right justifying an entire article costs readability. Ragged right is the term for text that is not justified on both margins. Full justified text can cost readability if the gaps and hyphenation caused by it aren't cleaned up properly.

Paragraph Length: Getting smacked across the retinas with a block of text isn't anyone's favorite pastime. It's easy to get lost in all those words; many people give up before they even start. You've seen the posts where the reader isn't given one single line break. Readers like to breathe—line breaks are like refreshing breaths.

So now you know. You can choose to do whatever you want with this information. Ignore me; that's fine. But think of your readers, their readability needs, and how much you want to keep them happy. If you're writing longer pieces, consider making it easier on them. If you're a short poster, maybe it's not so much of an issue.

Quick Note

Just wanted to let you know that Cindy Pon has been nice enough to post a drawing I sketched of her hero, Chen Yong, in Silver Phoenix. I have this problem where I end up drawing characters I really like in my spare time. It's not anything too detailed, but it sure was fun. I don't think I've ever drawn a guy with a topknot. Learned something new today.

I think I've said this a thousand times, but Cindy is just the nicest person in the world. I feel so lucky that I know her even the littlest bit.

The Stuff Of Nightmares

The venerable ninja zombie Carrie Harris is having a rather fun contest on her blog. She's put in a call for the best Zomcom—Zombie Comedy. Winner gets one of her snarfilicious prize packs. Believe me, these are some seriously awesome prize packs. I've been coveting one for months, I tell you. Feel free to try and beat me, but really, you won't.

I've pulled out all the stops, Carrie. I have my eyes on the evil ninja duckie and crocheted ninja doll! They are MINE! MINE! *Lets out terrifying zombie moan.*

So, I offer up my newest creation for Zomcom. Don't you WISH this was an actual toy? I do. Very much.

Is That A Finish Line I See?

*Squints at the faint, mirage-like image ahead.* "Is that...a yellow piece of tape across the road?" the tired, thirsty Natalie says. *Blinks a few times to see if it'll disappear.* "Huh, maybe."

I'm not sure why, but this current edit has felt long and hard. It definitely hasn't been as hard as the last two when it comes to the amount of changes—it's just felt that way. With the other ninja edits, I was energized and clear-headed. I had the stamina to get through the miles of changes I made. This one hasn't been that way. I've pushed on, feeling like I might run out of steam any moment. Each chapter I think, "Is this when my brain will finally turn to mush?"

It's really good that I took a couple weeks away from my wonderful little ninjas. Though I'll admit I'm still a tad fatigued, I'm now ready for that one last push this round. I can see the finish line, and I'm going to cross it.

Update: Happy to find that in the first four chapters, some parts are still funny to me. Hope abounds.

More Proof of How Cool My Friends Are

That's right, folks, I have the coolest pack of friends around. Not sure how I got so lucky, but I am. Kasie "DJ Coolio Dealio" West has snagged herself an agent! So run on over and pat her on the back and squeal good tidings. I actually knew about this a while back, since I read an earlier version of Captivated, her now represented book. We've been slogging through revisions together, and I'm so happy that hers have ended in good fortune.

If you remember, I drew a pretty little fairy a while back. Yeah, that was Kasie's main character Elodie. She's awesome. Believe me, I know because I read the book, remember? Neener neener.

Congratulations, Kasie! Eat some pie for me or something. I'm gonna exercise, since I already downed half a pan of brownies this weekend. Oops. I guess I could just FEEL good news in the air. Yeah, that's my excuse.

Saturday Sketch 4.5

I haven't showed "the process" for a while, so I thought it might be fun to do it today. Of course I could spend a lot more time on the picture, but I have another chapter begging to be written and a book asking to be read. Someday I'll go really hardcore and put together a really detailed progression of a drawing, one with lots of intricate details. That'll be fun.

This is Seth and Brady Mitchell—two of the boys in Fiona's (my current MC) life. I pretty much love these brothers. Gosh, they are so very swoon worthy. Not that I'm biased at all. Brady's actually the younger one, but his ability is super human strength so he makes poor Seth look small. He's not, just thin and totally adorable.

First Drafting=I'm Boring

I'm such a first-draft-a-holic. I must apologize for being so boring lately—that's just what happens when I get wrapped up in a project. My brain uses all its energy to think solely about little miss invisible girl, her raukus band of friends, and her weirdo brothers. The blog suffers. I mean, posting about my hair? Gosh. Talk about having nothing to say. Sometimes I can be really smart though. Like when I talked about How To and How NOT To Write YA. I sounded pretty credible on those ones.

But good news—I just hit 40k in Transparent! Yay! That means I'll have marginally interesting posts in about three or four weeks. Feel free to just ignore me and set a reminder around then. And speaking of the first draft, I'm in that phase. You know the one—oh-my-gosh-this-book-is-the-best-thing-ever-and-will-win-awards-and-is-so-deep-and-perfect-and-kiss-kiss-kiss-my-computer! Sigh. I can't wait until all my love is dashed to pieces in revisions. That'll be fun.

And about revisions, I'm gearing up to start the final sweep on Relax, I'm a Ninja. Then it's off for another review. I'm actually really grateful for the time away from the project. Not only do I see better what I can still tweak, but I'm really happy with how far this book has come. I'm past the "my goodness this is CRAP" phase and onto the "this works well" phase. Ah, zen. A rare state in this writing gig.

Oh, and I have to talk about my hair to maintain my boringness. I went to the store today and the nice lady at the front exclaimed, "How come your kids didn't get your beautiful red hair?" I laughed. (Course, they both actually have a strawberry blond color, but definitely not red.) I told her I'm a fake redhead, and she said she couldn't tell at all! Love. Her. Thank you, nice Wal-mart greeter I don't know!

Promise I'll draw a really cool picture tomorrow to make up for my dull posts.

Book Commentary: The Awakening

Note: This is the sequel to The Summoning by Kelley Armstrong, part 2 of the Darkest Powers trilogy.

Short, Spoilerless Summary: Chloe Saunders discovers what she really is in a twisted group home called Lyle House (The Summoning). Now she has to set out with a group of friends to find someone who can help them stave off the evil group of people who messed them up in the first place. Plus, zombies, werewovles, ghosts, and magic.

I really love this series. It's creepy and cool and clean. (Two books and not so much as a kiss! Gasp!) Also, it's a great twist on the paranormal. Armstrong has a clean writing style. Very easy to read. I especially like the short chapters. With kids bugging me, I can set the book down after nine pages without being stuck mid chapter. (Yes, I have a weird problem stopping mid chapter and feel locked in for 50 pages if they're long...sometimes I don't have that much time! Then I have to wait until kids are in bed.)

With the second installment in the series, I enjoyed the characters and world just as much though things slowed down a little in the middle. There wasn't much "urgency," but I really appreciated and soaked up the character development. Oh Derek, you brooder. At least Chloe doesn't let him get away with it. I'm really excited for the third book, can't wait to see how it all wraps up. Since it ends in a cliffhanger like the first book, there are plenty of threads I'm DYING to see resolved. Someone else read these so I can speculate and omg with you!

I'm a Redhead Now

Okay, mostly boring post ahead. When I was younger I always wanted to dye my hair in the red family. I was born with lovely red hair, which promptly fell out and came in blonde. And then I was blonde until baby #1 was about 1.5 years. Then I went a kind of auburnish brown. Like this:
I decided I wanted to go brighter this time. So I think I'm officially in the "redhead" realm now. Party! I love it. I kinda think I should have had red hair my whole life, that I was totally gypped by being blonde for so long. I mean, my favorite color IS orange. It's only right that my hair should be coppery reddish orange. And dying my hair will keep me entertained enough not to cut it—Locks of Love, hope you like red:)


And man, if the red hair isn't enough, look what color my nails are! So. HOT. Huh? (Yes, this is the stuff I'm entertaining myself with as I continue to wait. I wrote a chapter today already...I could write another or blog about my awesome hair and nails like a shallow dork. I guess you know what I picked.)

Just Some Random

First off, thanks for all the kind words on my previous post! I didn't have time to address each comment, but know that they were all appreciated. I know I should embrace my process and accept that I will always have more books to be edited than time. I gotta Rock What I Got, right? That's just how I roll.

I have this pet peeve about making an em dash like this: --. It's just ugly to me. So in an effort to rid the blog world of some of these, I'd like all the Mac users to know that you can easily make a real em dash by pressing shift+option and the hyphen button. — — — Tada! Mac has cool short cuts like that. You can also easily make a bullet by pressing option+8. •••• Wee!

We're going to the park today, since if my kids spend another day in the house while I write they might sprout horns and start breathing fire.

The WIP (Transparent) is freaking cool, I must admit. I love the characters so much. And even though the MC is a girl, there are soooo many boys. Like all the rest are boys except her mom and Bea. I love to write boys, if you didn't know. And not cookie cutter boys like I see so often (brooder, goofball, playboy, jock, nerd, bully, etc.), but real boys.

I've been playing more Warcraft lately, in attempts to slow my writing and waste time while I wait for readers. Forgot how fun it is to play with my husband. We have a blast. We're leveling little rogues right now—I feel like a ninja. It rocks.

And last random thing, I make killer Shepherd's Pie. Mmm. My chicken pot pie is pretty great too.

I'm Trying! I Swear!

I have this problem—I write fast. I know, at least half of you are grumbling under your breath. Yeah, problem my eye. It sucks to pump out several books a year. You poor thing. Go ahead, yell at me, I'm fine. I deserve it.

But here's the thing. I honestly try to go slow. Like with my current WIP, I've put conscious effort into taking my time and I still have 100 pages in 15 days. It's kind of ridiculous, honestly. I have no clue how I got here so fast when I've spent several days NOT WRITING and fretting over the crap that is my prose.

With all the revisions I've been through recently, I have this huge fear that my "process" is ultimately flawed. My stories spill out of me uncontrollably and often terribly messy. They've gotten better with every round of obsessive purging, but maybe they will never be good enough unless I spend three years on one book like some writers do. I constantly worry that I'm not a good writer because I write so fast. I also have this sneaking suspicion other people might think the same thing.

And then there's the other side—editing. Great mother of unicorns, I have more editing to do than you guys want to think about. Even as I write my WIP, I think about how I'm really just making more editing for myself. Yet I hate not writing new content; it's the only thing that keeps me from sinking into a pit of despair.

Do you know how many drafts I have to clean? For the most part I try not to think about it, but some days they hang over me, begging for the attention they deserve. Here's a run down just so you can get a glimpse into why writing fast might not be so awesome:

Relax, I'm a Ninja: Waiting for reader to get back, stressing over what she'll say, and dreading yet another line edit that will make it draft 7 before I resend to a certain person.

Void: 60% finished with major revision from 3rd to 1st person. After that, at least 2 more revisions and a line edit until I'll be "happy" with it.

Hammered: First Betas are finished, looking at serious changes to a 40 page section, cutting yet another character I love, and filling out world details so people "get" how it works. After that, at least three more rounds of editing and a line edit before I'm "happy" with it.

Sealed: Major prose clean up needed, since I wrote the dang thing in 15 days. Need to make sure the three POVs are distinct from each other, but not so jarring that the story feels choppy. I'm guessing three edits, but it's been so long since I've focused on this one that I honestly can't remember.

Evergreen: It's only 60% written! Goodness, I think DAILY about how I need to finish this book and how I might never get back to it. Lily is adorable! The story is cute. Must. Finish. Must make more editing work for myself.

Allure: Yeah, I still think about my failed dragons. Lost to the ravages of querying and not being cool enough. I KNOW the problem is in the prose. The story is actually one of my more solid pieces. A little more character development and clean writing and maybe I could resurrect it someday. Like...2 more drafts?

Alrighty, so there's a little look into all the work I've made for myself. You think stressing over a few books is hard? Try a half dozen...I'm about to dry heave. If someone has any sure fire ways to STOP writing, I think I should probably learn how before I have two dozen books that nobody wants. lol.