tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post6220785795255671096..comments2024-03-20T02:49:17.606-07:00Comments on Between Fact and Fiction: "It's Realistic"Natalie Whipplehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-22589412435107794202011-02-10T08:14:05.794-08:002011-02-10T08:14:05.794-08:00Reality is a pretty sketchy thing. I've learne...Reality is a pretty sketchy thing. I've learned slowly over the years that the way I view life is completely different than most of the people around me. <br />Every one grows up differently and every one views life differently. Two people can look the exact same situation and come away with different perspectives.Cookienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-52774502196832089392011-02-09T10:25:34.767-08:002011-02-09T10:25:34.767-08:00I think what your sister's referring to is the...I think what your sister's referring to is the fact that there is a huge spectrum between the fake, idealized Hollywood romance, which is full of drama and passion but lacking any of the lovely stability, commitment, quarreling and occasional boredom that comprise happy, lasting relationships---and the despair of love that often happens between people who either aren't right for each other or mature enough to sustain any kind of relationship at all. Those are two polar opposite things, but they're nuanced, and the entertainment of this world doesn't deal yet with romantic nuance. To deal in nuance requires us to be self-aware and able to pick out where we fit into that spectrum. We don't look to Hollywood for guidance (as we shouldn't), we look to be entertained, and I get your sister's disillusionment with the fact that this "entertainment" medium portrays love in such a formulaic unreal way. It's just sad that young people end up assuming it's either or---either a flawless love, which no love is; or one that's full of dysfunction. Or that just doesn't work. I wish there were more films that give a realistic depiction of a healthy relationship and all its ups and downs---it would help young people understand the messy and unpredictable and sometimes chaotic nature of true love, so they wouldn't just be so tempted to dismiss it altogether.salimahttp://www.salimaalikhan.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-7187690178136017832011-02-09T08:08:25.042-08:002011-02-09T08:08:25.042-08:00In general, people find it easier to accept that h...In general, people find it easier to accept that hardship and pain are the default way of things. More attention is always paid to bad things in the world than the good, in any sense. It's a shame, because people all too easily forget that there is beauty in the world.<br /><br />I met a woman in college. I was 20, she was 19. We talked for hours. Two days later, we kissed for the first time.<br /><br />Ten years later, we're married, have a house and are expecting our first child. Any crazy thing can happen in life. But keeping an eye out for the good things and seizing those chances when they come is the real trick.<br /><br />I don't believe in criticising anything for being unrealistic. So long as what I'm seeing doesn't contradict the internal logic of the story, I'd rather be taken for a fun ride by the story and characters than question whether true love at first sight or that one big break for the struggling artist can exist.Paul Anthony Shortthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14393249001158230985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-18625664822722929252011-02-09T06:04:35.650-08:002011-02-09T06:04:35.650-08:00I love you.
That is all.I love you.<br /><br />That is all.Sara Raaschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01196505323463444186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-90104800290498718632011-02-08T22:28:15.111-08:002011-02-08T22:28:15.111-08:00I agree with your assessment. Knowing life can be ...I agree with your assessment. Knowing life can be difficult, but refusing to focus on the negative and continually seeking/celebrating the victories (our own and those of others) is a <b>conscious choice</b> and (i.m.h.o.) requires more effort than lapsing into cynicism. <br /><br />I've known plenty of people with far more difficult histories than mine who are also the kindest, most optimistic folks anyone could meet. If I'm ever tempted to wallow in self-pity, I can always pull out of it now by reminding myself of every blessing received.<br /><br />(Thanks for the reminder today). :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00560147197082915677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-70285668748671729982011-02-08T18:29:59.916-08:002011-02-08T18:29:59.916-08:00Oh dear, I misspelled Natalie. My apologies ^^Oh dear, I misspelled Natalie. My apologies ^^Erikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17986417269238230984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-35652479801770577772011-02-08T18:28:50.129-08:002011-02-08T18:28:50.129-08:00Hi Nathalie :)
I mostly agree with what you'r...Hi Nathalie :)<br /><br />I mostly agree with what you're saying, but I think the "dreary" and "negative" stories are getting a bit too much flack here. While I personally don't read/watch too many of them (I get depressed T_T), I really don't think they are overestimated -- on the contrary, I'd say the overly fluffy books/movies get way too many sales in comparison.<br /><br />In the end, though, I think a combination of optimism and pessimism is optimal :) Not fluffy enough to make you roll your eyes, and not so bleak you see no point reading/watching it. Then again, it's all a matter of personal taste.Erikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17986417269238230984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-72567735576138491742011-02-08T17:57:10.034-08:002011-02-08T17:57:10.034-08:00AMEN! There are some fairy tales that happen in re...AMEN! There are some fairy tales that happen in real life. It's just that the bad stuff tends to get more attention, unfortunately.<br /><br />I think that's why I love fairy tale type stories and romance--because it is possible. <br /><br />BTW, I couldn't stand that movie. Maybe because it was too "real" and just plain depressing for me.Darahttp://inthewritemind.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-42544614522764361992011-02-08T17:06:48.810-08:002011-02-08T17:06:48.810-08:00Great post! And that last line is pure gold.
I l...Great post! And that last line is pure gold. <br /><br />I liked the movie (except that the next girl he met was called Autumn - too cliche), because it was quirky and real and still, somehow, really beautiful. I think if we can't find beauty even in the broken parts of life, we won't find it anywhere.Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01901886302578503906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-17134694737841893692011-02-08T16:36:35.277-08:002011-02-08T16:36:35.277-08:00Congrats! 900 is nothing to sniff at. :)
I admit,...Congrats! 900 is nothing to sniff at. :)<br /><br />I admit, I was a little disappointed in the movie. But maybe because I have a small (big) crush on Josheph Gordon-Levitt, and wanted him to get the girl. I thought she was too mean. That said, I'll watch it again, and keep what you and your sister have said in mind.Janna Leadbetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-67930135983696373752011-02-08T15:12:28.118-08:002011-02-08T15:12:28.118-08:00A very interesting post and I do agree with you. ...A very interesting post and I do agree with you. However, when we're hurting, it kind of helps to alleviate the pain by recognizing the "bad" as reality because that's what's familiar. For my part, most of my writing tackles the bad part of reality. It's more comfortable for me.<br /><br />Fairy tale-like reality may exist but the bad has to underlie it so that we can truly appreciate it if we are so lucky as to attain it. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-12003139046786933332011-02-08T15:08:33.491-08:002011-02-08T15:08:33.491-08:00I love this post.I love this post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-23532013516504537412011-02-08T14:05:56.948-08:002011-02-08T14:05:56.948-08:00Yes, and yes!
My hubby and I dated for three mo...Yes, and yes! <br /><br />My hubby and I dated for three months, broke up, spent three YEARS dating other people, even got engaged to other people, reunited once we both left that happy little valley (I think you know which one), got married and have 2.5 kids. <br /><br />Magic happens folks. And not just in cheesy novels.Becky Wallacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02880501542510014819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-90117428380210800552011-02-08T13:45:28.131-08:002011-02-08T13:45:28.131-08:00Oh okay, I'm glad I didn't miss it. Though...Oh okay, I'm glad I didn't miss it. Thought I was going crazy... (Entirely possible.) Well, super belated congrats! :)Kristanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04771013578685419826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-90439483574981567562011-02-08T13:41:47.516-08:002011-02-08T13:41:47.516-08:00It makes sad sense. People have been conditioned t...It makes sad sense. People have been conditioned to believe anything negative and doubt positives. The more twisted and uncomfortable, the more "realistic," even if it is actually quite unrealistic.John Wiswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07416044628686736927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-1060196624407921132011-02-08T13:23:03.425-08:002011-02-08T13:23:03.425-08:00Eh, it's not really so black and white. People...Eh, it's not really so black and white. People get together and break up; people get together and stay together. Sometimes people go through a long series of break-ups and reunions before they decide one way or another.<br /><br />As for being published, there isn't one either/or reality. There are many paths to being published; there are many rungs on the ladder of success. It's up to us to decide just how good we can stand it while never settling for less, and aim for that rung rather than worrying about whether it's at the very top or along the ground.<br /><br />:-)Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02206342024283098691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-80156601723049322392011-02-08T13:15:08.542-08:002011-02-08T13:15:08.542-08:00Oh gosh, THANK you for this post. I was a teen tha...Oh gosh, THANK you for this post. I was a teen that didn't have sex or swear. While I think that some teens do, some don't as well. There should be stories about all of us. The good stories are sometimes just as important as the bad.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10480712973194174171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-60375387530018047582011-02-08T12:46:32.397-08:002011-02-08T12:46:32.397-08:00I love this post Natalie. I deliberately seek out ...I love this post Natalie. I deliberately seek out the uplifting, inspiring and positive stories in media and in life. I see the heartbreak too (and as I get older it seems to make me cry a lot more, maddeningly), but I choose to focus on the good stuff. And it makes the good stuff in my own life seem even better.<br /><br />For example, after seeing a movie with lots of violence or depressing themes I feel depressed and it takes me a couple of hours to recover. But when I see a more uplifting movie, I feel great and then I look over at my husband and I just want to snuggle him even more than usual. Yes there's hard times, but why put a magnifying glass on them?Charlotte Brentwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17241042192422436027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-58620017961894248022011-02-08T12:09:59.632-08:002011-02-08T12:09:59.632-08:00I hear what you're saying - it's the reali...I hear what you're saying - it's the realistic that makes life authentic, though that can be tough to take! But it's those unrealistic and the painful parts of the journey that make the triumph all the more sweeter!D. U. Okonkwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12900694425526387930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-66801613813693416472011-02-08T12:01:02.565-08:002011-02-08T12:01:02.565-08:00I think the thing to remember is that Happily Ever...I think the thing to remember is that Happily Ever After doesn't happen in one day--it happens one day at a time. <br />Good things happen and bad things happen, but we remember the bad things, unfortunately because they hurt more. We aren't taught to celebrate joy and relish in our accomplishments. So we push the good things aside and only see the darkness. One in two marriages will fail, the better you look the more money you make (yes that was a study), Double zero is the new two, the list goes on and on. My senior thesis advisor told me to keep a journal and explore the things that I did well, because often we just record how much we failed. <br />And I have to admit the more I look back and think about everything I've done, it makes my bad days seem a little less bad. So to recap: happily ever after=one day at a timeGretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16632334349589066341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-44414021643585851202011-02-08T11:37:17.795-08:002011-02-08T11:37:17.795-08:00It's interesting that you mention this. I had ...It's interesting that you mention this. I had a conversation with my sister not long ago about luck, both good and bad, and the "that stuff doesn't happen to real people" mentality attached to both. People win the lottery, people are involved in terrible accidents, find the love of their life, contract a life-threatening disease.<br /><br />We were joking that I've already been through the life-threatening disease and so to balance it out now I'm due for some sort of brilliant good luck. You, too - you've been through hell on your writing journey the last couple years, perhaps you're soon due to win the lottery (metaphorically or literally!).Seabrookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09400079400485962650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-74558772458003066632011-02-08T11:29:48.864-08:002011-02-08T11:29:48.864-08:00Wow. This entire post should be carved into stone....Wow. This entire post should be carved into stone. <br />And no, I don't think sadness, disappointment and regret are the only reality. Don't fairy tales have those parts too?<br /><br />I guess thinking you live a charmed life has everything to do with what you choose to focus on--half empty, half full--kind of thing. <br /><br />Ask Jack in the Beanstalk if he lives a charmed life, yeesh! Or Cinderella. <br /><br />You're right. The happiness is just as real. For me, maybe even more real, because the acquisition of more happiness defines my understanding of the journey.Christine Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711726941768571495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-3133574780486035432011-02-08T11:28:13.470-08:002011-02-08T11:28:13.470-08:00I simply adore the last line of this post. It sum...I simply adore the last line of this post. It sums up your wonderful thoughts so well! Thanks for sharing this post. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll get your fairy tale soon!Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17617151224505912914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-3851566598289428762011-02-08T11:18:34.355-08:002011-02-08T11:18:34.355-08:00AGREED! Thank you, Natalie!!AGREED! Thank you, Natalie!!Melodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08846251713093236356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-33457366164722278122011-02-08T11:05:13.009-08:002011-02-08T11:05:13.009-08:00Kristan: Oh, Bear and I've been engaged for ye...Kristan: Oh, Bear and I've been engaged for years. Quite literally. :)JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08403361264216610963noreply@blogger.com