tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.comments2024-02-16T02:56:00.399-08:00Between Fact and FictionNatalie Whipplehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comBlogger24196125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-63469833771046754422019-03-22T03:19:12.598-07:002019-03-22T03:19:12.598-07:00And after a long time of absence I return to your ...And after a long time of absence I return to your blog and read this, only to be reminded why I loved this little log of yours in the first place. Thank you for sharing your beautiful stories with us.<br />P.S. the moment you started the story of the rude guy in college I was like "O! O! I know this one!" Haneen Ibrahimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02630051804744173965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-24435155524668932762019-03-16T02:23:41.478-07:002019-03-16T02:23:41.478-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Aatif Kareemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12137067727739465162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-75583544108189846372019-03-16T02:23:22.389-07:002019-03-16T02:23:22.389-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Aatif Kareemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12137067727739465162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-83742223080651202062019-03-08T14:24:54.919-08:002019-03-08T14:24:54.919-08:00I have taught my kids more about our heritage (bot...I have taught my kids more about our heritage (both Maori and Polish) than my family knew when I was little. We have books my sister-in-law have sent about NZ and Maori things, and we have gone over some language. I tell them about my grandma's history and the Maori history I know and am learning. The internet and family history sites are so helpful in this! I'm not sure how much discomfort they have (a lot of this I didn't talk about when I was little and didn't really even know how to articulate), but I'm also not sure how much they go around sharing their background. <br /><br />But after going to New Zealand, I am much more determined than ever to take my children there before they are old like me. I didn't get to go until I was 33. Being there and with family there was what ultimately helped me bring it all into perspective, and I want to give that to my kids. It'll be expensive to fly all six of us down there, but I have hope I can make it happen;)Natalie Whipplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-23360085461225888182019-03-08T13:59:53.720-08:002019-03-08T13:59:53.720-08:00I have been loving these posts. Thank you for shar...I have been loving these posts. Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. You are awesome.<br /><br />One thing I'm wondering about (and hope might be a future post) is how you teach your children, who are now in your same situation. Are things the same for them as for you? Is there anything you can do to help them feel more comfortable, or is all the discomfort inevitable because of the culture?Janci Oldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02328442487471904305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-4218804037182023102019-03-08T13:58:09.291-08:002019-03-08T13:58:09.291-08:001. This post made me tear up, and 2. it also made ...1. This post made me tear up, and 2. it also made me reflect on how American my view of race can be at times, even as a biracial person who also hates those goddamn boxes, particularly when you're not allowed to pick more than one.Kristanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04771013578685419826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-49218046832529840852019-03-08T12:49:00.184-08:002019-03-08T12:49:00.184-08:00Thank you for sharing!Thank you for sharing!William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-72859414570098483702019-03-08T11:07:12.534-08:002019-03-08T11:07:12.534-08:00Fav post yet! Aunty Peti's son is who you met ...Fav post yet! Aunty Peti's son is who you met in lowes remember :) I relate to this soooooooo much..obviously as I'm in it. :) <br /><br />Thanks for applying for the job ;) <br /><br />Vern marched me down to the office too. haha<br /><br />I have always believed that your nan has a hand in this all from above. Well nudging. :)Liahonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02612494932641635766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-20925650957354953292019-03-08T10:29:09.435-08:002019-03-08T10:29:09.435-08:00This post--this whole series-- has been so good, N...This post--this whole series-- has been so good, Natalie. Thank you for sharing.Myrna Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13534358757278599925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-54897610960156190562019-03-05T14:42:37.360-08:002019-03-05T14:42:37.360-08:00Thank you for sharing these. Wonderful to see them...Thank you for sharing these. Wonderful to see them.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-58638493362643386022019-03-04T20:39:03.535-08:002019-03-04T20:39:03.535-08:00The picture of the tree gave me chills. So cool! I...The picture of the tree gave me chills. So cool! I love all of these posts. I don’t have the challenge you do of passing, but I definitely relate to the feeling of belonging and rightness when visiting where I came from. <br /><br />Interestingly, I learned more about my Finnish heritage from my dad (who is not Finnish) than my Finnish mother, who tried to pass as American when she came to the States—to the point that she refused to teach us Finnish, instead determined to have no accent in her English (didn’t work, of course). <br /><br />It’s only been the last 20 years or so (she’s 75) that she’s embraced her own background & even brags about it, likely because Finland has a higher profile and better reputation than in 1965. <br /><br />I’m so, so grateful that my dad taught me about the food and culture and even a few words when I was little. Even more grateful that I got to live there for a while & visit a couple of times since. <br /><br />You can bet that I share that heritage with my kids, just as I’m sure you’re passing on yours to your children! <br /><br />Seriously love this series. 💙Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04515611564726236067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-90920620346971223312019-03-04T20:28:17.507-08:002019-03-04T20:28:17.507-08:00I think this is my favorite post yet. I love seein...I think this is my favorite post yet. I love seeing all the ways that your grandma's legacy blesses you. ❤️cindy baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01173344689280406987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-77329613517528112412019-03-04T13:35:07.920-08:002019-03-04T13:35:07.920-08:00It's not you, specifically, or your flawed tee...It's not you, specifically, or your flawed teen thinking that I spoke up against. It's the movement you're a part of; the reason you wrote your posts. It's this sense of "American white people are racist because of X, Y, and Z" that I've been seeing across social media, in the news, and in daily life that I wanted to address. It's frustrating to see a movement complain of being belittled and marginalized when they focus on belittling and marginalizing the group they oppose. If we want to succeed in accepting more diversity, we shouldn't use the same tactics we claim we oppose.<br /><br />Like your posts, you're hoping to create some change and open someone's eyes to the problems you've seen. My comment is the same. I just think the movement would do better if we framed it as a humanity problem instead of a white problem. A lot of people say "I pass as white but actually am not," but really, what they're saying is "I look like I could fit in, but inwardly I don't." That latter phrase is far more inclusive than the former phrase could ever be and it starts a conversation instead of assigning the person as "racist."<br /><br />I realize the "passing as white" is how you filtered your experiences as you grew up. You needed something to blame and your Maori heritage was different from those around you, thus an easy scapegoat. But blaming whiteness is also how the movement is framing this thus focusing on an aspect no one can change (their skin color) instead of on the fact that we, as humans, all have the tendency to judge quickly and should stop being afraid of someone that is different (no matter the reason for that difference).<br /><br />So, basically, I just wanted you to not follow the movement of assigning whiteness as the problem. Or at least not further this misconception since I fear it will send the movement to a self-destructive ending. Let's nudge it toward a better direction instead :)Empresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03420961475363123655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-45292253233244968112019-03-04T12:45:04.498-08:002019-03-04T12:45:04.498-08:00I did not say my approach was correct, only that I...I did not say my approach was correct, only that I did it and saw the consequences for it. I was 14-17 at the time of these occurrences. I have social anxiety and didn't understand many societal cues or expectations. If you notice later on in the post, I describe that I saw this wasn't a good approach and I changed to something softer. I realized that not everyone saw one way and there were good people trying to learn.<br /><br />I agree that all cultures have a racism issue in some form (Maori face racism in NZ similar to indigenous peoples across the world), but to be afraid of the term "racist" or "racism" is sort of avoiding the issue. I have done racist things, and I can say that out loud. I have tried to correct and learn every time I can. We all have to learn, we all have only our single view of the world to start with, and it is hard to expand it. We are all bound to misstep along the way, and that is okay (though society sometimes makes us feel it isn't!).<br /><br />It is true that racism is a very human and very worldwide issue with deep roots, roots that require different methods of untangling in every country. Some prefer to rename the issue and avoid the word, but I will continue to take on the word so I don't forget how important it is to make these changes in myself and hopefully do better at explaining myself to others.<br /><br />It seems I was unsuccessful in conveying the flaws of my own teen thinking, and I'm sorry for that. I will leave the post as is for reference, but I have learned from your reply that I need to more clearly show that I was far from perfect in my approach as a kid. Especially given my community. It just shows how much I didn't understand the area I moved into—which I did learn overtime and grew to appreciate in its own quirks and ways!Natalie Whipplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-54197731064455933532019-03-04T12:22:01.661-08:002019-03-04T12:22:01.661-08:00Looking back, I understand this as an adult, but I...Looking back, I understand this as an adult, but I was using my point of view in that time period to tell this story. There is so much we don't understand as kids, and it's totally true that I was unaware of the "from California" thing. I was unaware of a ton of stuff. And I was that super annoying kid who thought they knew everything and how everyone should live, so;) Not claiming any perfection here.Natalie Whipplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-26415908914532086382019-03-04T12:12:07.178-08:002019-03-04T12:12:07.178-08:00It's tough moving/entering a homogeneous group...It's tough moving/entering a homogeneous group and not having the same beliefs/ideas/culture/history as the group around you. And while I understand your frustration with people not being more accepting of those that are not like them, I really don't like this movement of framing this as all "racist". It pigeonholes the problem and undermines its success. This problem isn't a white people problem. It's a human problem. If we're not used to things, then we don't like it, no matter the skin color.<br /><br />For example, I lived in Japan for several years and despite trying to fit in, learn the language and figure out the vastly different culture to mine, I was constantly seen as "the outsider" and was subjected to their own jokes of outsiders and cultures that were different than theirs. What you described could easily describe some of the people I knew in Japan. Same in Italy when I lived there. Even when living in America, in a culture I understood, and could outwardly pass "as normal", I didn't think like other people did (and sadly had no ancestral culture to blame it on) and was ostracized because I "thought wrong".<br /><br />This is why I don't think we should label this problem as a "racist" problem that affects only white people because it affects everyone. Put a white kid in a school full of blacks and that white kid will go through the same experience as you did. Put a white kid with a bunch of other white kids, but who acts differently than the others, and they'll still go through your experience. <br /><br />So, I think it would be better to frame this as a problem of humans not liking change. If everyone, of all races/creeds/religions/whatever could focus on the fact that someone different from you doesn't automatically make them bad, and that you can respect and be their friend without having to agree with everything they do/believe, then the world would be a lot better off. We'd actually move forward instead of withering into camps of "they're not acting like they're supposed to be acting." Because calling someone "racist" is really you saying "you're not acting how I think you should be acting." Which is ironic since that's the same problem they have of you.<br /><br />So maybe next time, instead of saying "That's racist," we can say "That's rude. Would you like it if someone said that about your race/religion/creed/whatever?" Then all of humanity could be helped to be more accepting of each other.<br /><br />**And so ends my two cents on this topic on the vast internet.Empresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03420961475363123655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-79666013373725918662019-03-04T11:53:05.330-08:002019-03-04T11:53:05.330-08:00I think it's cool you are tackling this, espec...I think it's cool you are tackling this, especially since I feel it would be extra difficult to express due to varying perspectives of what that area was like. Living in that area during that time myself I feel that many kids in that area acted poorly out of ignorance and lack of kowledge (though not all, some were just jerks). Also, as a kid it felt like many of the people who moved there from California liked to shove the idea in your face that they were better and the best because they were from California.I remember myself and some of my peers who hadn't moved expressimg feeling that way. With ideas like that floating around you may also have (unfortunately) encountered predjudice because you moved from California. It's lame, but that was a thing in that area. I also expreienced issues with things I thought were important about a shared religion and that was without moving. I also think it can be difficult to understand the importance of claiming a culture when you are someone who falls into or is lumped into the -rude racist privileged mainstream white person group. Who wants to claim that? It isn't positive. If you are in that group you may feel you don't have a culture to claim which makes it harder for you to relate to or understand what is happening. Some lumped in that group really do care, but are ignorant. That is why it is so cool that you did speak up back then. That is why it is cool that you are talking about your experience now. I was afraid of intentionally doing things that would be racist and tried not to be that way, but my knowledge and understandung was limited and I probably inadvertently added to the problem.I also took for granted the "rightness" and "normalcy" of the culture I was in. I didn't understand that some of that should not have been normal and was not right. Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16300655064677028144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-67364741824910055522019-03-04T11:10:30.555-08:002019-03-04T11:10:30.555-08:00I've been reading your white passing posts and...I've been reading your white passing posts and all I can think is how brave you are. These are wonderful, terrible glimpses into your life and self, and also into the world around you that you are sharing with us. I don't think I could do this. You are so strong. Thank you for sharing these experiences with us.midnightbloomshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08936355677620232722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-83312967798490927442019-03-03T17:21:13.449-08:002019-03-03T17:21:13.449-08:00I'm sorry that you were treated like that scho...I'm sorry that you were treated like that school; those kids, especially that racist bully who said those cruel things to you, were wrong to do that. I can relate to what you went through, when you went from living in diverse California to Utah. I used to live in Chicago, and I moved to a small town in Tennessee for work. It was definitely a culture shock to move to a place where looking "different" was treated as if it was a crime. One of my international students confided in me about how some of the white students ridiculed him because of his accent; I felt sorry for him and wished I could have done more to help him.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-28956950250033255862019-03-01T14:46:44.663-08:002019-03-01T14:46:44.663-08:00You are quite right to say this.You are quite right to say this.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-72366678692640616112019-02-26T10:16:19.956-08:002019-02-26T10:16:19.956-08:00I'm so glad you are sharing these stories. I l...I'm so glad you are sharing these stories. I love seeing the photograph again. You look like royalty. I also understand the complicated feelings that come with cultural heritage, though, as you know, mine is kind of a reverse situation from yours. I love talking about New Zealand with you. I keep daydreaming about being able to afford to take my boys there someday. Bree Biesinger Despainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08292364585512793833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-47383635945671862082019-02-26T08:11:47.932-08:002019-02-26T08:11:47.932-08:00You are beautiful. You are beautiful. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04271036035287067749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-8171538169591523312019-02-26T07:56:29.954-08:002019-02-26T07:56:29.954-08:00As someone who also has deep love of heritage and ...As someone who also has deep love of heritage and culture—but not the burden of experiences you’ve faced—I’m in tears. I love every word, and that picture especially. Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04515611564726236067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-87556051049407366592019-02-25T20:20:42.297-08:002019-02-25T20:20:42.297-08:00Much love to you, Natalie. Thank you for sharing t...Much love to you, Natalie. Thank you for sharing this. <3Shveta Thakrarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13770308767245316189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-77879909068613305712019-02-25T14:06:19.701-08:002019-02-25T14:06:19.701-08:00Thank you. It says a lot that you can share that.Thank you. It says a lot that you can share that.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.com