tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post2708919702234461331..comments2024-03-20T02:49:17.606-07:00Comments on Between Fact and Fiction: On Egg ShellsNatalie Whipplehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09978251567306345129noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-88976149100507493742011-07-02T18:11:29.213-07:002011-07-02T18:11:29.213-07:00Hmm. It seems to me that there's a fundamental...Hmm. It seems to me that there's a fundamental difference between being physically in the stocks and saying something people disagree with on the Internet. One of them is an actual restriction on your ability to get away or defend yourself. The other is a virtual place where your ability to respond in kind or ignore them can't be denied. I understand your fear but (obviously) I don't think disagreeing with people prompts much attention. It's the Internet, after all. <br /><br />I did want to say, in response to another comment, that I actually think it's enormously disrespectful to assume somebody who posted an opinion you disagree with is too fragile to handle conflict. It may be true but plenty of people talking on the Internet are not fragile flowers and I think the best option is to give them the benefit of the doubt. I let my three year old win at candyland because I don't want him to cry but until I have evidence otherwise I expect better from fellow adults, especially professional writers. <br /><br />Xxoo<br />A fellow writer who tries to be honestChrysoula Tzavelashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03000416848682835199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-91075482234747197382011-07-01T20:58:31.835-07:002011-07-01T20:58:31.835-07:00Ooooh, Danyelle said it right. So often these witc...Ooooh, Danyelle said it right. So often these witch-hunts are over censorship. Listen, if someone wants something to be censored, guess what: that's fine! It's their right to think that! And if you attack them for that, you're doing that very thing you're saying they shouldn't do! GAH.Jaimie Teekellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07845537262456320501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-70493740667791753562011-07-01T20:54:13.099-07:002011-07-01T20:54:13.099-07:00Wholeheartedly agree. I hate the witch-hunting I&#...Wholeheartedly agree. I hate the witch-hunting I've seen lately. You know, if 10 people have said something is wrong, we probably don't need to be adding our voices to that. There are real, fragile people on the other end... people who can learn a lesson from 10 voices or even 1. It doesn't need to be thousands.<br /><br />It's insane.Jaimie Teekellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07845537262456320501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-64331985620855150892011-07-01T20:34:00.152-07:002011-07-01T20:34:00.152-07:00I just want to hug you...a lot!I just want to hug you...a lot!Kimberly Sabatinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18143516055206233316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-48094643974613449932011-07-01T14:40:15.635-07:002011-07-01T14:40:15.635-07:00You've brought up such an important point. The...You've brought up such an important point. The Internet does seem to be like one big playpen, with everybody acting like 2-year-olds and no grown-ups in charge.<br /><br />I once agreed with a snarky comment on an agent's blog, and got a long, furious email from the person who'd been scorned. I felt awful. Later I went to the person's site and realized that he had an undiagnosed case of Asperger's. I felt even worse. I apologized. <br /><br />But most people don't. It's so easy to take something out of context and ridicule it. I have no idea how that could happen to somebody as kind and straightforward as you, and I haven't seen any of it, but I'm so sorry you had to go through it.<br /><br />But in the end, it's best to remember the old Hollywood adage. 'I don't care what they say about me, as long as they get my name right.' This is, in the end, about getting name recognition in order to sell books. Controversy gets attention. And sells books.Anne R. Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02420000168356370825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-29357824027174437142011-07-01T11:35:42.730-07:002011-07-01T11:35:42.730-07:00Oh, wow! I was just writing about how I made a foo...Oh, wow! I was just writing about how I made a fool of myself by participating in a mass snark-attack on someone I don't even know. It was over a year ago, but it still haunts me. I mean... it didn't affect my life in a serious way, it was just a huge whack over the head that I can be a real jerk. It's easier for me to be honest--and get swept up in mobs--in type than face-to-face, so I have a tendency to barf my thoughts all over the place online. <br />It IS scary, not just that people can attack you in giant hoards, but that you can easily become a member of a hoard and attack other people. Yikes!Valerie Riekerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00652302930308235322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-40220440101068669102011-07-01T10:14:01.236-07:002011-07-01T10:14:01.236-07:00Thanks for this post Natalie! Very true words.Thanks for this post Natalie! Very true words.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08209008161233482678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-70508848017681860802011-07-01T10:02:19.977-07:002011-07-01T10:02:19.977-07:00Great post! I've found myself wondering on occ...Great post! I've found myself wondering on occasion how much I want to distance myself from the blog I've passionately kept for years as I consider self-publication of my first novel, because the two don't fall into the same "categories" or "genres," yet both are honest about my thoughts and perspectives. Avoiding the tough topics about which we are honest isn't the answer, I'm convinced of that. Yet, as you say, its frightening when one considers the repercussions of our readers.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18228237190423435197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-30198836762806679372011-07-01T09:14:21.509-07:002011-07-01T09:14:21.509-07:00I smile that you are so new to this problem. Try ...I smile that you are so new to this problem. Try being a school teacher. ;)<br />Long before the blogs or tweets or facebook, there was gossip. And gossip can take something totally innocent and make it sound like the worst-case scenario. At least on the internet, someone can track back to what you actually said or did and find the truth, if they take the time to do so.The English Teacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14982031308501442156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-88826796480966284142011-07-01T08:05:32.888-07:002011-07-01T08:05:32.888-07:00I've been feeling the exact same thing in the ...I've been feeling the exact same thing in the past few months, especially after that Wall Street Journal article on darkness in YA where everyone and their dog pilloried the author for expressing an opinion they didn't like. <br /><br />The worst part is that it wasn't just a bunch of Anonymous trolls in comments, people were signing their names to it and blogging in public to attack those who disagreed with them, using profanity and violent accusations.<br /><br />Regardless of how you stand on the issue, a civil discourse is always in style. I'm not sure how we forgot that so quickly on the internet.Scott Bairdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02975290873686060155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-5195451118024143882011-06-29T21:56:23.923-07:002011-06-29T21:56:23.923-07:00I'll take on anyone who throws something at yo...I'll take on anyone who throws something at you. You seem to have these issues dogging you from the net & I just don't understand how anyone can be so rude, especially to someone who's always, always, always so nice. All I can say is the haters are stewing in their own misery, jealous of your sweet nature, style & popularity. Karma will be a problem for them someday. You just keep on being the wonderful gal we all love to tune into. Nancy Thompsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05735642863696266005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-16131552971735967102011-06-29T15:26:34.373-07:002011-06-29T15:26:34.373-07:00You'll always be honest, just think of yoursel...You'll always be honest, just think of yourself as having a business side for networking and a family or personal side for emailing. I don't know that's pretty much how I handle it and it has been working out pretty well so far. Intangible Heartshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05047040538015079182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-64796519907481747262011-06-29T07:56:41.346-07:002011-06-29T07:56:41.346-07:00I know I'm just a commenter. Someone you don&#...I know I'm just a commenter. Someone you don't know, have never met. But I believe in honesty. And I believe in what you write here on your blog. <br /><br />Have you ever seen A Knight's Tale? The moment where he is in the stocks and his friends surround him to take the tomato on his behalf? Well, that's me. If you ever end up in the stocks I'm willing to take a tomato for you. Judging from the comments above there are many others who are willing to do the same. So be yourself. Be honest. And remember that for all those virtual nay-sayers who hide behind the curtain of the internet, you have a large group of REAL people willing to defend you.<br /><br />Ok. Creepy, stalker-like pep talk over. ;)D.B. Smythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09978732108548427153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-21114066927142071332011-06-29T06:15:57.999-07:002011-06-29T06:15:57.999-07:00Love this.Love this.Fanfreakingtastic Flowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14363943191354423760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-45939491805479718562011-06-29T02:05:50.857-07:002011-06-29T02:05:50.857-07:00I agree it's such a potentially dangerous thin...I agree it's such a potentially dangerous thing, this internet lark. The wrong comment can destroy a career in seconds. I guess what we have to do is just try to put forward a professional, yet personable, attitude as much as possible. I'm big on honesty myself, but there are so many things I'm nervous about saying now. Like, how honest can I be if I didn't like someone's book? Should I just say "it wasn't for me," or should I explain exactly what I felt were its faults?<br /><br />If you can find an answer to all this, Natalie, let us know.Paul Anthony Shortthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14393249001158230985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-86720374020612162342011-06-29T00:46:45.665-07:002011-06-29T00:46:45.665-07:00I understand where you're coming from. How do ...I understand where you're coming from. How do you keep posts lively, interesting and entertaining, without saying too much or the "wrong" thing - and gawd knows what falls into *that* category, as one person's taboo is someone else's dinner conversation. Wish I had some words of wisdom or sage advice, but all I can offer is stick with what makes *YOU* comfortable and to hell with the rest. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00560147197082915677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-47844055157087477872011-06-29T00:07:43.323-07:002011-06-29T00:07:43.323-07:00I love your honesty, and I can't remember your...I love your honesty, and I can't remember your ever being honest in a mean way, not on your blog. What you described sounds like bullying.Myrna Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13534358757278599925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-69887440982331391462011-06-28T22:17:20.691-07:002011-06-28T22:17:20.691-07:00I've fallen into the "anonymous troller&q...I've fallen into the "anonymous troller" camp before, and didn't realize that I was acting the same way in an un-anonymous fashion, too. Until someone pointed it out.<br /><br />I think we just all need to remind each other periodically that there are other humans behind all those keyboards so that people remember it's okay to have different opinions.Nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126561808521998532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-42406623094496991472011-06-28T21:54:25.335-07:002011-06-28T21:54:25.335-07:00I know exactly what you mean, and have even begun ...I know exactly what you mean, and have even begun censoring my Facebook posts in fear that someone would be judgmental about something I think or believe (I'm friends with lots of writers on Facebook). <br /><br />On the other hand, I think openness is important, too. While I agree about the scariness of the lynch mob mentality, if your stance is well-thought-through, authentic, and compassionate---which yours always is---I don't think you're in as much danger of ridicule. I'm not saying that people who have responded impulsively on the internet deserve to be torched, only that you always, always conduct yourself not just with honesty, but with compassion. And that's what gives others permission to do the same. Your blog is lovely and refreshing; you tackle the hard stuff, honestly.Salimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14575733075842373387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-13529894275191537552011-06-28T18:20:35.921-07:002011-06-28T18:20:35.921-07:00I appreciate how honest you are and I've never...I appreciate how honest you are and I've never even thought you would get attacked for anything you've said. I do agree this is becoming more of an issue. And we should watch getting in such an uproar when people say something they may later reject. We all need to be more conscious about that.Natalie Aguirrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756087804171246660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-70353126039197394562011-06-28T15:34:31.418-07:002011-06-28T15:34:31.418-07:00I completely understand where you are coming from....I completely understand where you are coming from. It's a fine line, but I also think that (as others have also said) you do voice your honest opinions thoughtfully and with respect. I guess the worst thing we can do is let the fear completely take over and hide.<br />This fear isn't just in the online world, or just confined to the writing community, it's everywhere. Just the other day I heard that a pre-school in New Zealand have stopped the staff from calling the kids 'boys' and 'girls', deeming the term 'friends' more appropriate. In my opinion this is fear of offending gone mad! That is taking it too far.<br />If we can just remember to always conduct ourselves with respect and integrity (online and in real life), I'm sure that we will find that we can voice our opinions honestly and without the back lash.<br /><br />And to be honest, even if there is an occasion (and I hope this never happens), the 'mob attacks', as long as you know that you have voiced your point of view thoughtfully and with respect, I'm sure you will come out the otherside. Your conscience should be clear!<br /><br />I love your blog, and I think that you have definately found that balance and because of that I value your opinions and have respect for your honest thoughts.<br /><br />So, thank you for being you!Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09988954845179582752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-57694433481046532862011-06-28T15:28:19.949-07:002011-06-28T15:28:19.949-07:00I had a blog that I was going to write (out of she...I had a blog that I was going to write (out of sheer annoyance at someone in a forum at another site), and decided against it after a night's sleep. It didn't seem worth it to do so.<br /><br />The net gives us a certain anonymity, and sometimes we say negative things without thinking them through.William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-82144516865840296442011-06-28T15:10:57.773-07:002011-06-28T15:10:57.773-07:00I strive for the benefit of the doubt also. If I e...I strive for the benefit of the doubt also. If I ever discuss someone else online, I try to pretend that person is reading over my shoulder, and not say anything I wouldn't say to his or her face.<br /><br />On your main issue here--I find that if I say what I really believe, I can stand behind it, and that mitigates suffering from any pushback I might get. It never feels good to have someone throw tomatoes even if we do feel like we've been honest and fair, but we can't please everyone all the time. Reviews of one's own books are the biggest reminder of that. ;-) And ultimately, life goes on.Jennifer R. Hubbardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03408588432492354248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-28327334920825883182011-06-28T15:01:43.822-07:002011-06-28T15:01:43.822-07:00I completely understand. I used to blog about stu...I completely understand. I used to blog about stuff other than books, and I ended up basically getting cyber-abused: the bullying, the libel, the threats of legal action for stuff I didn't even do... Who knew that adults could act like such utter children? That's when I shut that blog down and started my book review blog. I figured it was safer... and a lot less stressful.<br /><br />It seems like there's always someone waiting out there on the Internet, ready to pounce on the first differing opinion they can find. I think it's an ego thing, some desperate need to be right. Or maybe it's jealousy, especially when you're dealing with a crowd that's into the arts. In any case, I'd say it's good to be cautious... but to a point. You don't want to be completely stifled by random strangers on the Internet!La Coccinellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03118313017081994087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5774363178370829558.post-28081772678874920952011-06-28T14:46:07.485-07:002011-06-28T14:46:07.485-07:00Great post, Natalie. I love how honest you are. It...Great post, Natalie. I love how honest you are. It's nice to know you aren't sugar coating everything. That makes the best kind of person and blogger I think. Just keep doing what you're doing. You are awesome and so many people look up to you and love you.:)Chantele Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07920913211842919013noreply@blogger.com