I think I'm finally ready to admit this—I'm a rewriter.
I've tried to deny it for a long time. "Oh, regular revisions will be enough," I told myself. "I won't have to redo more than half my book this time. I'm a better writer now. I won't have as many mistakes as I did before."
Wrong.
I really wish it wasn't the case, because rewriting takes a lot of work mentally and emotionally. But I am one of those writers who just can't get it right the first go around. Not even close to right. It doesn't matter if I have an outline or not—it just doesn't come together well enough to avoid major (as in 50% of the book or more) rewriting. I can't think of a single one of my projects that doesn't need some major overhaul.
Being a rewriter, I'm learning, comes with one major problem: You constantly think you suck.
It's hard not to! I mean, everything I ever write will basically have to be thrown out and done over. It's really easy to think that I'm hopelessly incapable of writing a decent story—even when I put months and months of work into it. And writing anything new becomes nearly impossible, since all I can think is how in a year I'll be REwriting it all. And if I really suck that bad, then why the heck am I doing this at all? Why shouldn't I just give up?
See what I mean? Being a rewriter can really wear down your confidence.
So you have to put your confidence in other things, I think. I may be a sucky writer. I might have to rewrite every project for the rest of my life. But I can edit. I might even be a pretty good reviser. I can get there eventually if I work my butt off.
And maybe being a rewriter is just another way of doing this whole writing gig, just like outliners and note-takers and pen/paper...ers. Maybe this is part of my process that I will never outgrow, part I need to accept and deal with.
I'm a rewriter. I can't quite say I'm proud of that yet, but acknowledgment is the first step, right?
I'm with you, Natalie. I can't seem to ever get my story right on the first pass without doing massive rewrites of whole sections.
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm rewriting the middle section of the book in order to smooth out the second act. And still I'll have to revise this later in order to draw out the emotions that I want to.
Here's to being a rewriter!
Oh, me too. I just finished my MS two days ago, and after spending a whole day feverishly figuring out why 89% of everything I'd just finally finishing writing wasn't going to work and making giant changes to the plot and characters, I sat down and started a nice, fresh document.
ReplyDeleteRewriting.
At least we realize it needs to be rewritten, right?
Me three. I have come to think of my first draft as a long outline. It's less depressing that way.
ReplyDeleteI've learned that my thoughts don't really come into full fruition or completion unless I write them down (or say them out loud). Like you, I have to write the book before I know what I'm book writing.
ReplyDeleteI try to look at it as part of my process (sometimes I manage to convince myself)--free writing in order to explore my world and characters which allows me to understand them so well I can pull out the story and really tell the one I want.
Yep! I'm a re-writer myself. It sort of sucks. Why can't I be the one to get it right the first time around? Nah. I rewrite and rewrite and rewrite. It sucks but it's what we do. =)
ReplyDeleteMe too! I'm glad I'm not alone in this! At least I can still tell that I'm getting better each time, :)
ReplyDeletehehehe you're too cute! best of luck with all of your rewriting endeavors! :D
ReplyDeleteI posted on this today, too. Not that I'm a rewriter- although I am- but that it gets a little depressing. Thanks for sharing! It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who thinks I suck. Wait, let me rewrite that. I'm not the only one who thinks, "I suck." ;)
ReplyDeleteI am completely the same--but I've seen the opposite, and I don't like it.
ReplyDeleteMy first novel has been revised 17 times... and it's still not ready! Sheesh!
I'm not even referring to my first draft during this rewrite other than to laugh at it. I think I'm a rewriter, too, and it's KICKING MY BUTT!
ReplyDeleteYou know I think I'm a rewriter too. I never get it even close to right the first time. My one story that I've worked on for three years has changed soooo much over that time.
ReplyDeleteI'm not that great at editing either...but I'm excellent at the research aspect. :)
Aww, well, you don't suck, but you must believe that yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo you're a super-fast drafter and a good rewriter. I rewrite everything. My drafts are fairly fast, really, only a few months, but Monarch took me 18 months to get it where it is. Why? Rewrites. Yep, that's where the real writing takes place for me.
I want to join the club too. I also do these major overhauls. I get it wrong so many times.
ReplyDeleteI'm the opposite. It takes me forever to write a book because I write and rewrite as I go. I can't move forward until I feel like I've gotten what I've written right. So when I read about people like you who write a book super fast I think - I am so terrible at writing! It takes me forever! So I guess whatever side you're on, writing takes a lot of work!
ReplyDeleteHey Natalie, I'm a rewriter too. I'm dreading the fact that I have to rewrite a part of my wip. I hate it. I need lots of chocolate to get through this one. =)
ReplyDeleterewriter - so you start from scratch again? wow! That takes some courage!
ReplyDeleteI think you should look at this as a blessing. Rewriting gives you time to ponder, add detail, and come up with additions to where you are taking the reader. I prefer it myself... I feel so much better when I rewrite. It's like polishing a rare gem.
ReplyDeleteShelli, yes, from scratch on the parts that change too much to fix. On Ninja, I scrapped about 50% and rewrote full sections.
ReplyDeleteWe all rewrite, it just depends on when. Me, I'd say half the scenes I start to write during the first draft process, I'll scrap the next day and write again.
ReplyDeleteSo don't feel like you suck! Though, I suppose I could also say we all feel like we suck, it just depends on when. :)
You're in good company. Some of my favorite writers are re-writers.
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteI tend to get what I'm after, layer by layer. So it isn't so much a case of rewriting, but filling out, detailing,
ReplyDeleteMy real problem order is putting things in the right.
That's a nightmare, and a great source of almost primordial suction.
So glad you're a rewriter. Honestly, your posts on revising/self-editing/rewriting have been SO HELPFUL to me. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI thought everyone rewrote and that it was just part of the proces of writing. Oh my stars! So, there are people who never rewrite and their stuff is perfect? Very interesting and a bit freaky if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteOh! Me too! I've rewritten first chapters over a dozen times. And gone over a MS at least 5 times before I think I'm close to having something readable by agents. With each rewrite, I find something overlooked.
ReplyDeleteUgh! It's a pain, but with each new revision comes...perfection, right? ;-)
Aww. I'm willing to bet a LOT of writers are rewriters, whether they admit it or not. Also, you're still a young writer, even if you've written a lot of mss. I think you WILL have to rewrite less as you continue in this (LIFELONG) career progression. I really do.
ReplyDeleteThat said, even if you are rewriting as much at 115 as you are at 25, you are a REALLY GOOD (RE)WRITER. That's more than most people can say. So don't worry about sucking. You couldn't if you tried. :)
If it makes you feel any better, we outliners think we suck too. At least I do. The story that I outlined, for some reason, always seems better than the story that ends up coming out.
ReplyDeleteAcknowledgment is good.
ReplyDeleteBeing a rewriter might be just another process. It seems to work just as well as any other method.
Happy rewriting.
Whatever your process may be, it's great to have clarity.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have the clarity. And I enjoyed reading what you wrote/rewrote.
I suffer greatly from isuckitis. Whether it's rewriting or drafting, I think that I'm struck with this malady, regardless. =P
ReplyDeleteEveryone re-writes. When working on subsequent drafts the trick is to leave in the passion, the excitement, and the indescribable something that made you tell that particular story in the first place. Having faith in your story and your abilities is so, so difficult.
ReplyDeleteCurrently "editing" the first draft of the first novel. By editing I mean, copy-paste a chapter to a new document, change font colour to purple and write it over.
ReplyDeleteI have yet to arrive at tweak editing. I hope it's cuz it's the first novel and that when I reread the second one, it won't make me cringe.
So this is what it takes to be a writer represented by an agent. I was hoping I could get away with hitting myself on the head. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI dread the thought of all the rewriting my first novel requires. Reading through it, I see so many plot holes and inconsistencies that I start to wonder if it has any potential of being, as you said, "right." So much more goes into writing than just writing. And it's hard for non-writers to understand and/or appreciate that. (Sometimes it's hard for me to understand/appreciate that, too.)
ReplyDeleteI confess: I am a rewriter who suffers from doubts all the time. After reading this, I will embrace that this is my style of writing. And yes, I plot and plan and outline and do scene cards and everything--but I still end up cutting huge hunks of stuff and rewriting.
ReplyDeleteI am also a layering type of author.
Me 36.
ReplyDeleteIn the midst of a complete rewrite.
I've learned not to beat a dead horse. Just get a new one. And then beat that one until it's dead.
Left you the "Creative Writer Award" on my blog. For this one, you post 6 lies and 1 truth and readers try to guess the truth. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this! I am also a rewriter, and I must say - I always think I suck too. It takes a lot of work to get to a final product that I'm proud of. Nice to know I'm not the only one. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to realize I'm a rewriter too. I think that's why I've been sitting on my finished first draft for so long. I know it needs to be completely rewritten and it's been depressing me. Guess I need to just realize the fact (hey, look! I just did!) and pull it out again.
ReplyDeleteArgh, re-writing is rough and I can see why it can get you down. But don't be too hard on yourself! You're able to recognize that your writing can always be better. Alot of people get stuck on the first draft and can't expand. You're flexible. That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteI've spent years wrestling with this too.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I've changed tack a little, and embraced my tendency to rewrite. Now I work on my initial draft in the expectation that I'll be rewriting practically everything.
That helps me in two ways. First off, I no longer feel my first draft has to be anything more than an exploration -- so I don't get hung up on it. I can take more risks.
Second I don't feel like a failure when I return to a scene and start my rewrite. That's what I'm supposed to be doing.
At least that's the theory!