When I was a lot greener, I'll admit to believing the good critiques. If I got bad ones, I could easily talk myself out of them or figure out an easy band-aid edit. But I'm not sure that's such a bad thing—I had to believe the good crits or I'd have given up before I even started.
Now that I've been around the block a few times, I'm more apt to believe the worst opinion out there. I've learned the hard way that those crits make my book better even though they hurt like crazy. I'm grateful for them. Mostly. Definitely not immediately grateful, but yeah. Overall grateful.
The only problem now is that I have a hard time believing someone when they say they like my work. I always think, "Sure you do...you're just trying to be nice. There's got to be some kind of catch—some huge problem they're not telling me about."
It's a bit sad, isn't it? It seems like in every aspect of life, we are conditioned to accept the negative opinions and to suspect the positive ones. That one person who told me I'm ugly. That one guy who hates me because I was born. That one teacher who said I wasn't a very good writer. Why is it so easy for me to believe them, and so hard for me to believe all the people who love me and like what I do?
I don't know. I really don't. It's like the logic works in my head—but it doesn't feel like that. It feels like I suck. Like right now? I'm soooo not in love with my WIP. And it's not even that I hate it, it's just...nothing. Blah. A big puddle of mud. It feels like the whole thing is trash, even if in my head I know it's not.
But when I get in these moods, I've learned it's very important to trust the people who say my writing is worth something. I can't see it right now, but that doesn't make it untrue. It only means I can't see it, and so I will trust my dearest guides to lead the way.
Wow, you must be channeling me. :) So hard to believe the good stuff. Definitely sad. But surely we must believe it deep down . . . or we wouldn't still be doing it. Right?
ReplyDeleteYeah, things are a little screwy. But we do have to learn how to trust the good opinions.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post!
If you don't give bad with the good or good with the bad, it just seems either too good to be true or too bad to be true, and doesn't afraid of anything.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I'm feeling that way with my WIP today, too. Like, "I know I loved you once, and will again, but right now let's just stick together because we must."
ReplyDeleteAs one of the lucky people to have read your work, yes, Natalie. Your writing is worth something. You will fall in love with your WIP again. It will surprise you when it happens — and it will be a deeper, stronger love, because your book will be deeper and stronger.
ReplyDeleteIt will happen. Trust the good opinions.
I completely understand this thought process, except I'm more likely to call my WIP 'absolute garbage' instead of 'trash.' It's nice to see it articulated so well. When I know others feel the same way, it makes it easier to recognize when my mind is playing tricks on me.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way. Convinced at times I don't have that spark everyone else seems to have. The thing is, like you - I know deep down I do.
ReplyDeleteIt's so much easier to believe the negative, instead of reinforcing the positive.
My word for this year is "chance". Giving myself the freedom to take a chance and see what comes of it. (Hugs)Indigo
I will love your WIP enough for both of us right now as long as you keep writing it. :) Maybe one day you'll appreciate what a genius you are.
ReplyDeleteBut I know what you mean, it's so much easier to believe the worst about ourselves.
I think your writing is great. I feel lucky to have been able to read some of it. I think it's easier to believe the bad because we are so free to be self critical. It's accepted. If we feel we are doing well then maybe we're being self-centered or bragging (even if it's in our own heads). It's okay though to know that we have talents and to acknowledge them.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen much of your writing, only what you have posted here, but already I love your voice and can't wait to see more of your stuff.
ReplyDeleteI blogged about the pain of editing last night. It seems a few of us are in this space right now.
It's easy to doubt ourselves and our work, "cause other people out there are sooo much better than we are," so we tell ourselves. But that's a lie.
YOU are good. YOUR work is great. We have to cling to these truths or the mire of doubt will swallow us and our hopes and dreams. And we can't let that happen.
You're a ninja after all. You can beat this doubt. Kick it's butt from here to Timbucktoo, that'll make you feel better.
Pep talk finished. :)
You have to believe both the good and the bad. While you edit to improve on the bad things, you must hold onto the good ones.
ReplyDeleteIf you trust your critters (hopefully you do), then you have to assume that they are letting you know the characters and scenes they are connecting with, the phrases and nuances that are meaningful, and the twists and surprises that keep them turning pages. Those are real thoughts, real feelings, and real evaluations of your good work.
SO true. I go through these spurts where my WIP is just nothing but trash. All the negative comments are gold, and all the positive ones are just the product of lies. LIES!
ReplyDeleteI've gone through these downs a few times to know that I'll always come up again. I just have to keep working.
You know you'll get through it, too. Your writing is good. Don't ever doubt that.
So check this series out...called "Finish Your Novel": http://www.timothyhallinan.com/writers.php#toc
ReplyDeleteIt's wise...wisdom we all need when we hit the place where you are. I've been reading it recently, and do believe that writing bad pages is better than no writing at all.
Best,
a.
Sorry you're questioning, but don't worry. Everyone goes through this! And blah doesn't have to be the kiss of death for a novel. The sparkle comes through the layering and the editing and catching things that you missed the first time around.
ReplyDeleteBut you might need to think about why you feel like it's blah! I just went through this with my WIP. I got to a couple chapters where everything seemed on track. My plot was moving along, the characters were doing what they needed to do, but I wasn't as enthusiastic anymore. When I sat down and analyzed it, I realized that my protag had stepped back and let things happen for a few scenes and there wasn't enough conflict. The plot was still suspenseful, things were still building and there was plenty to think about, but the scenes had just been about discovering things. So I went back and put in a more adversarial situation between the two main characters on screen. Suddenly vroom. I'm revved up again. Blah can be a wake up call!
Hope you hit the gas pedal again very soon!
A nice reminder that critiques are good. Even when they're bad! I'm at a loss as to why we only believe the bad. Must be human nature, or a natural tendency for writers to doubt ourselves. Your wip will shine when you're through with it, there's no doubt about that!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I follow your blog because I love your writing and your art. I don't have any ulterior motives, no reason to lie to you. Trust the good opinions.
ReplyDeleteBTW, my eleven-year old likes reading your blog too!
That really (like you pointed out) is just how life is. It is so easy to ruin someones trust, but so difficult to gain it. You can smash a persons hopes with a single word, but it may take years to build it up. I think deep down, we all feel like outsiders... freaks. When people tell us that we aren't, or that something we have DONE is worth any value, we are skeptical. When they smash us, they are only confirming our inner most fears.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that should also be considered when GIVING critiques. Nathan Bransford has a "critique sandwich," and others may have methods as well, but they all boil down to this: be considerate, be constructive, be polite. We ALL are afraid that we are valueless, and for that reason, be sure to make your friends and family (and people your critique) FEEL valued.
*people "you" critique.. not "your"
ReplyDeleteSee... worthless. ;)
This is exactly why I haven't completely finished any of my WiPs. I always think the worst and refuse to look at it.
ReplyDeleteRight now--I'm there again with you but you are right--we just have to try and condition ourselves to listen to the positive.
I have the same problem too Natalie - I never believe the good stuff, but I'm all too willing to believe the worst. I'm wondering if it's endemic to writers in general. Then again, maybe it's just the human condition. Sticks and stones may break your bones and all.
ReplyDeleteWords do have the power to hurt, much more than heal some times. But you're never as bad as you think you are - and it IS ok to believe the good stuff, as long as you use it to keep making yourself a better writer. And from what I see here, you're doing just fine :)
I think its the media. We're surrounded by the bad all the time that it becomes so hard to get through to the good in life. I mean, when was the last time something good happened and it was sensationalized the way a murder story or car chase is. It just doesn't happen...unless of course said good thing comes out of something terribly bad happening.
ReplyDeleteSo, there's my two cents. Have a nice evening.
This is such an encouraging post. While it *is* dangerous to only listen to the good and brush off the bad, and very tempting to do the opposite, it's so nice to hear that trusting the good opinions while listening to the sense in the bad is the best way to go!
ReplyDeleteAlso, you have an award waiting at my blog! Thanks for such great posts!
Natalie what a great post!
ReplyDeleteIt is so true though, it is so much easier to accept the negative. Time to focus on those people that believe in me! How about an (almost) mid-year resolution?
Thank you for this post, Natalie. I think it's so important to believe the good things about our writing, and it's also important to believe the constructive things, as well. There's a difference between someone saying your work needs work and someone saying it sucks and will never make it.
ReplyDeleteYou just have to remind yourself of the evidence all around you. For example your more than six hundred blog readers! I know it's hard to trust the good, but you bring out a good point, it is so important. It's so easy to believe only the bad because it confirms the fears we already harbor and yet we are so quick to discount praise. We all do it. At least I definitely do.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to believe that someone is being honest and not just accommodating. I have several WIPs I am working on so when I get in the mood that one is not working out so good and I am not passionate about what I am writing, I move to another. I have around 5 that I jump around on. This helps with writers block too. Thanks for the post.
ReplyDeleteI fell in love with your style of writing as I read your guest post on Webook! That's actually why I am here. I like it very much how you describe different thought processes going on in your head or within your character. English is not my native language, which makes the whole writing affair -- which I love-- a tad more complicated. Such writers like you really inspire me. So, thank you for a very good blog!
ReplyDeleteWhether to accept my compliments or not, it's up to you, but you should know that they ARE genuine :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete