When first drafting, I tend to "soften" my characters' actions by using quantifiers. I don't do it as often as I used to, but it's still something I have to watch. I always have plenty to edit out in revisions.
If you have no clue what I'm talking about, let me give you a few examples:
• "Don't touch that!" he almost yelled. (ALMOST? You either yell or you don't, right?)
• She bounced a little. She scowled a little. She smiled a little. (Has she done anything A LOT? Do I really need to point out the amount? She smiled—the end.)
• He nearly ran to the door. (Could he just run? Or jog maybe? Ooo, sprint? What the heck is a "near run"?)
It's a disease, I tell you. It's like I don't want to force my characters to commit to their actions. Every time I take one of these babies out, the prose is instantly stronger and it reads less wishy-washy. Who wants to read a book where characters almost save the day, kiss a little, and nearly live happily ever after? That sounds like a serious downer.
Perfect, Natalie! I have the same problem. I "usually" go through my manuscript and "almost" take out all the qualifiers. It's "kind of" annoying, you know?
ReplyDelete*rushes off to weed them out of my partial*
Hehe, exactly Michelle. And when you look at each one, you discover which ones are actually necessary. Like "He almost fell out of his chair." Yup, need that one.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the weeding:)
Well, it would almost be a good book, right?
ReplyDelete"Nearly live happily ever after"...haha. That would be the best ending. "And they -- nearly lived happily ever after. Because, you know, Cinderella's shoe obsession eventually drove a wedge between her and the prince."
ReplyDeleteI didn't know I had this disease until you pointed it out :) And you're right -- the writing is so, so much stronger without all those pesky quantifiers.
My characters end up with a lot of slight smiles and almost sneers. I'm sure I need to go back and see where I can let them have full facial expressions.
ReplyDeleteI hardly ever do this. I almost always remember to make my writing fairly strong and quite decisive and I nearly succeed quite a lot.
ReplyDeleteOkay, FH--that definitely got a laugh ; )
ReplyDeleteSounds like Utah talk to me, or was that American Fark? lol
ReplyDeleteHa, Rijon, I think it's more of a girl thing. We kind of struggle being assertive sometimes...
ReplyDeleteLOL I laughed while I was reading this (not because I noticed it in your ms at all, because I really didn't) but I always do it. Cool, I'm editing right now, I'll have to remember to look for those.
ReplyDeleteLOL this was great! I am also "kind of" guilty when it comes to these quantifiers. I think you're right about it being a predominantly female thing (studied something along those lines in psych). Not to mention that I'm indecisive, and I'm not always certain I want my character to 'verb' or not, so they end up nearly/almost/slightly 'verb-ing'.
ReplyDelete"a little" -- Ooo, I'm guilty of this one. Thanks for the timely (I'm revising!) reminder.
ReplyDeleteI do that too. It's so easy to get caught up in quantifying, but it is better like you say to just do it. Full bore! uh. maybe not the best word choice. how about Full tilt!.
ReplyDeletehaha! i did that sometimes. she nearly blah blah blah. she felt a little...blah blah...
ReplyDeletegreat post!!
I'm stuck on 'he/she/it began...' — which is probably why I'm not done yet.
ReplyDelete"Who wants to read a book where characters almost save the day, kiss a little, and nearly live happily ever after?"
ReplyDeleteLOL.
It's good to recognize our writerly tics, though. And to weed them out.