Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Snow & Promises

I really appreciate when the weather reflects my mood. It almost makes me feel like I have some special power, or as if the Universe is acknowledging me, tipping its hat as it meets my eyes directly. I know it knows, and even though it doesn't make it easier, it's nice that it at least sees and understands that it has hurt my feelings.

And sometimes, I feel like there's this glint in that old Universe's eye. Like it knows something I don't. Like it's promising me that someday it will make things right.

This morning I woke up to a healthy helping of snow. It always happens in Utah this time of year, right before Halloween, ruining all the beautiful fall colors. Then it melts, leaving soggy fronds and chilly temps for trick-or-treaters, their costumes hidden under great big coats.

The snow always makes me feel many things. While it's clean, fresh, and even pretty, it also ruins the beauty and brilliance of fall. New slate? Sure. Except that it killed what came before, which was just lovely, thank you. And yet I can't help but look out at the quiet streets and feel...peace. I know how quiet it will sound if I step outside, how my footsteps crunching through the snow will feel like I'm trampling on something special.

Clean, peaceful, and yet bleak. This is snow to me. Something melancholy, with a dash of hope thrown in just to keep things interesting.

There's always a point in winter where I wonder if spring will ever come, when it seems like the world can't possibly warm up again after being frozen for so long. And yet every year, it comes. It's easy to remember that on the first snow of the year—it gets harder with each storm, though in the back of your head you know spring will come.

You start to go mad. Come, spring! Just hurry up! I can't take one more day of this snow. The closer you get, the further away it seems. But then one day it gets a little warm, and you know all that restlessness will soon end.

Thank you, Universe, for the snow, for painting my mood on the world today. It was the least you could do, really. I will look forward to the promise of spring.

14 comments:

  1. Lovely post, Natalie. I think we all know a bit about the bittersweet emotions of new snow (unless you live in Houston, like I used to...) but you capture them so perfectly. :)

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  2. I used to live in Indiana, and it was the same thing--winter was so long you began to wonder if spring was ever going to come, then it did and the air tingled with energy and life.

    I love the fall colors and autumn is my favorite season by far, but I grew up in the South where snowfalls are few and far between. The absolute hush that comes after it snows is magical. The world is still and quiet for one perfect moment.

    I savored those moments each year and that's what I miss most now that I'm back in the South.

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  3. We just have constant rain :(

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  4. You captured a lot of how I feel about snow--except that I'm probably less positive about it. I fully admit that winter is my least favorite season and I generally threaten once or twice to move away to warmer climes. I haven't yet but if my hubby agreed, I think I'd do it.

    Wishing you some peace and happy on this snow day.

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  5. You are much nicer than I was when I looked out the window this morning. I met the snow with much grumbling, especially because I had to walk to school in it. Thanks, though, for reminding me it's not all bad. :)

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  6. Well said, Natalie. There is an interesting duality about snow, isn't there?

    I've been fighting the arrival of winter for some time now. Guess I might as well just embrace it. Like so many other things.

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  7. I'm still trying to get used to a winter with snow. After twenty-seven years in a place that has short, extremely mild winters, I now live in a place that stays frozen from December to March. It can be depressing. :(

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  8. What a beautiful post. You definitely captured the feeling that snow and winter bring. I hope your personal spring comes very soon!

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  9. WOW!! You are amazing and have such a gift for words. Your ability in expressing your thoughts and feelings are beautifully poetic.

    Love You!

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  10. Having grown up in Louisiana, I've never really experienced the peaceful snow feeling (or the accompanying longing for spring). The weather that affects me the most is rain. Not wimpy, drizzly rain, but pounding thunderstorms that shake the leaves out of the trees and wash the air clean. Afterwards, you can smell damp earth and ozone. I love it. To me, it feels like possibilities and second chances. At least until I step outside and get my shoes covered in mud.

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  11. You know that "Come on spring!" feeling? Yeah, I start to get that in September. Today has not been one of my better days. :)

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  12. I live in Atlanta, so snow usually is connected with chaos but I do remember the snow we had last February and I loved the quiet and the whiteness of the snow.

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  13. I wish I could experience snow...
    I live in Miami, enough said...

    Lovely writing.

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  14. Very beautiful writing, and also so relevant to many other things in life: especially that feeling of waiting for spring, knowing it's going to come but just not seeing how.

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