I really appreciate when the weather reflects my mood. It almost makes me feel like I have some special power, or as if the Universe is acknowledging me, tipping its hat as it meets my eyes directly. I know it knows, and even though it doesn't make it easier, it's nice that it at least sees and understands that it has hurt my feelings.
And sometimes, I feel like there's this glint in that old Universe's eye. Like it knows something I don't. Like it's promising me that someday it will make things right.
This morning I woke up to a healthy helping of snow. It always happens in Utah this time of year, right before Halloween, ruining all the beautiful fall colors. Then it melts, leaving soggy fronds and chilly temps for trick-or-treaters, their costumes hidden under great big coats.
The snow always makes me feel many things. While it's clean, fresh, and even pretty, it also ruins the beauty and brilliance of fall. New slate? Sure. Except that it killed what came before, which was just lovely, thank you. And yet I can't help but look out at the quiet streets and feel...peace. I know how quiet it will sound if I step outside, how my footsteps crunching through the snow will feel like I'm trampling on something special.
Clean, peaceful, and yet bleak. This is snow to me. Something melancholy, with a dash of hope thrown in just to keep things interesting.
There's always a point in winter where I wonder if spring will ever come, when it seems like the world can't possibly warm up again after being frozen for so long. And yet every year, it comes. It's easy to remember that on the first snow of the year—it gets harder with each storm, though in the back of your head you know spring will come.
You start to go mad. Come, spring! Just hurry up! I can't take one more day of this snow. The closer you get, the further away it seems. But then one day it gets a little warm, and you know all that restlessness will soon end.
Thank you, Universe, for the snow, for painting my mood on the world today. It was the least you could do, really. I will look forward to the promise of spring.