Thursday, March 24, 2011

Changes On The Blog

Remember how I was saying that a certain event in my writing life was approaching? And how I wasn't sure what I'd be able to handle when, in fact, that event came to pass? Well, it turns out that the internet is still hard to deal with during this time, and I'm going to have to take some measures in order to maintain not only my sanity, but my ability to write.

First, I will be removing my email from my blog. As much as I enjoy the wonderful, sweet emails you send me, it's a difficult time to get the not-so-sweet ones. Not that I don't appreciate people expressing their opinions, I am just not in a strong enough place to handle it. I can fully admit that. Self-esteem is a valuable commodity right now, one that dwindles far too quickly. I have to salvage as much as I can so my writing will continue moving forward. That comes first; I learned that the hard way.

If you need to get in contact with me, I will be checking my Twitter account, and I will respond to questions in comments.

Second, I will be posting on Tuesdays, on Fridays for Happy Writer's Society, and keeping my Weekend Sketch feature. I have considered going down to just HWS, but I really hope I don't have to take it that far. I honestly enjoy blogging. It has given me so much. I hope to continue for a long time. But sometimes, well, sharing and being open can backfire. Sometimes you get bit. Sometimes it's hard to deal with all the experts on the internet. While usually I can handle this fine, right now I can't. I'm not perfect. I'm certainly not always strong, and I won't pretend to be. Last year I did a lot of pretending to be fine, pretending to be strong, and it hurt more than just admitting that I was struggling.

Third, the nature of my posts will change. There will probably be a departure from writing advice in general, and more of a focus on my life and the things I enjoy. I will certainly be open to questions about writing, and I will answer them, but I've given a lot of advice for someone who doesn't really have the cred to be doing so. My reference tab should have most everything I think about writing, anyway.

Fourth, I just want to say that this isn't anyone's fault, so don't wonder if you were the one who pushed me off the cliff or anything. Since "the event" began, I've been gauging my emotional response to things, and let's just say these changes have been in my mind for awhile. Part of me kept saying, "You're a wuss for admitting you can't handle it, just keep faking." But I've finally beaten it back and come out, so to speak.

Yes, publishing news is hard for me to read. Yes, my self-esteem is easily crushed. Yes, I want my book to sell so freaking bad and I'm terrified it won't because that's what happened last time and I can't even think about how I'll handle repeating history.

So here we are! I'm cutting back, and I know you'll all be understanding of that. Thank you, truly, for reading and for supporting me. So many of you have taken the time to brighten my day, and I wouldn't be here without your encouragement.

55 comments:

  1. I hope you feel stronger soon, Natalie. My thoughts are with you.

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  2. We always have to put our writing first and self confidence can really affect that. Do what you have to. And I can't wait to hear good news that you've landed your first book deal!

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  3. I totally understand and hope you're able to share that you've received great news soon. :)

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  4. Good for you! I hear/read so much bluster about the writing mentality, that you have to be steely minded and work focused to such an extent that you don't have time for "silly" things like self-esteem. But you can't do anything without it, I've found. You HAVE to protect it in whatever way you can.

    Just know that you will be published. And you'll have built up so much good will out here that we'll all rush to buy your book.

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  5. *hug* Don't forget, it gets better!

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  6. I hear you!
    You do what you have to do to stay sane.

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  7. It's important for you to take time for *you* and do what's best for *you*. There's no wrong in doing that. I wish you the best with the new format and, of course, with your writing. For all of the negative people, there are tons of us out there in Twitterverse who are rooting for you.

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  8. Natalie, I'm a total lurker, I've been reading your blog for years and I think this is like my thired comment ever, so I'm sure the negative comments you got weren't from me. But I now feel the need to tell you that I love you. I've never told you that before, cause I'm all silent and ghostly, but I do love you. I love reading your blog and I really hope that your book sells cause I'm sure it will be great and I will totally love reading it too. I respect your choice to take a step back from blogging, but I'll miss you anyway. Best of luck. And please know you're awesome, even if sometimes lurkers like me forget to tell you that.

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  9. I hate hearing that people take advantage of a posted email to send hateful, hurtful things to people who don't deserve them -- and don't think for one second that you deserve that sort of treatment, Natalie.

    Yours is one of the first blogs I found when I started with Blogger myself, and it's always made me smile to read your posts.

    Do what you have to do to make your writing life more productive, and we'll all be waiting to cheer when you sell your book.

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  10. Thanks for your honesty. I think many of us (including me) try to tough things out and not admit we're struggling. Wishing you all the best. xx :)

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  11. Do you what you need to do and know that I am cheering you on along with many others.

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  12. I'm sorry it's been (is being) so hard for you and that people are abusing your email address. There's no need to be nasty to people at all, let alone by email. That would really upset me.

    And it's especially mean to be nasty to someone as nice as you are. I think you're wonderful.

    *hugs*

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  13. Completely understandable. I'll miss reading your blog posts every day, but your sanity and self esteem are much more important! Know that there's many of us who love you and hope the best for you!

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  14. Good for you. Don't worry about us. Do what you need to do.
    xo

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  15. I can't believe you get less than nice emails, Natalie! What could they possibly have bad to say about you, considering 1.) they don't really know you, 2.) everything I've ever seen you write is honest, genuine, and fair. I appreciate your blog, even though I don't comment as often as I'd like. I wish you all the best with the event, your writing, and your family! You do whatever you need to do - the internet is secondary to real life always.

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  16. I love this blog, Natalie, and it's given me so much hope with my own writing. I'm sorry if anyone ever made you feel otherwise.

    Take care.

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  17. Good for you to decide to take care of you! Sad that such an "event" would be happening to you, but I think you're wise. Best of luck with it all!

    And if your books are anything like your blog, I'm sure I'll be seeing your name in hard print soon. :)

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  18. I'm so sorry to hear you've been the victim of trolls. I just had somebody flame about me on FB this week and it was so out of the blue and hurtful, I lost a few days of work stewing about it. I couldn't figure it out, until another writer a little farther up on the success ladder told me to get used to it: the more you're out there, the more you're a target.

    And if this means not making your email address available, that's a good way to protect yourself.

    I had a cyberstalker for a while who disliked a comment I made on somebody else's blog and set about proving I was "evil." Obviously seriously disturbed. I ignored him and finally blocked him and I haven't had any other email problems, but I did consider doing what you're doing.

    I'm also a big advocate of "slow blogging," so I'm all for cutting back. Your fiction has to come first.

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  19. I think it's smart to do what is best for you, and only you can make that call. I'll miss your regular posts, but will look forward to the ones you do have. Take care.

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  20. This post makes me sad because I can feel your hurt all the way across the internet. =( And also because out of the 150-ish blogs I follow, your posts are without a doubt the ones I look forward to the most.

    That said, I realize that you gotta do what you gotta do, and I hope things start looking up for you soon!

    I'll keep reading even if you only post once a month and if that post is about species of lizards or the quadratic equation! And I'll be in line to buy your book as soon as it is published!

    (But really...don't write about the quadratic equation, okay? I'll read it, but it will hurt my brain.)

    Take care, Natalie!

    Erin @ Quitting My Day Job

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  21. Keep doing what is best for you and I hope you reach your publishing goal!!:-)

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  22. Erin, all I can remember about the quadratic equation is that I hated it. So you don't have to worry there:)

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  23. "I've given a lot of advice for someone who doesn't really have the cred to be doing so."

    Now THAT is baloney. That "doesn't really have the cred" bit, I mean. YOU are a writer. An EXCELLENT writer. We can all see that. That is your "cred."

    // soapbox

    Anyway, ditto what Abby Stevens said. If this is the right move for you, then rock on. (And believe me, I SO understand.) We'll still be here, on Tuesdays Fridays, weekends, and whenever. We'll still be on Twitter. And we'll still be completely happy, proud, and unsurprised when we see your name on shelves. :)

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  24. Can I say just say I love your honesty? It draws me to you. I admire how willing you are to be open. You've helped me admit things on my own blog. I'm glad you're doing what is best for you.
    My Blog

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  25. Dear Natalie Whipple,
    You are one of my favorite bloggers in the blogosphere. I love your honesty, the way you're real with yourself and others, the way you don't wear an enviable, perfect mask. You're a real person.
    So thank you so much for your blog, for writing, for introducing the Happy Writer's Society. I'll still be following your blog, and still enjoying it, and still looking forward to everything you write!
    ~melody

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  26. Bother. That up there ^^^, that last comment, that's me. Different user. Thanks, blogger.

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  27. You're my favorite, and I love you no matter what!

    *hugs*

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  28. My blog reading has dwindled down to a few blogs and yours is one of the few I read faithfully (though I'm a lurker). I've appreciated your honesty and willingness to talk about things we're all thinking about and going through.

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  29. You're one of my favourite bloggers, so I will definitely miss you, but I totally understand.

    Good luck and stay sane!

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  30. I totally understand. It's supposed to be fun, not a chore. I just started blogging once a week on Literary Rambles and it's busy. So I can't imagine doing it everyday. And sorry you got bit. We still think you're awesome whether you sell this book or not. I know it's going to happen for you. And when it does, I hope you'll let me interview you.

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  31. Good luck trying to sort things out. Don't worry about us at a time like this...just help yourself.

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  32. You deserve nothing but the best, so I will send as many good vibes as possible. Please do what you need to do <3

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  33. When your book comes out I will be first in the line to buy in Natalie. And for someone who doesn't have the "cred" to give it, I think your advice is pretty spot on. Wishing you luck x

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  34. Hi Natalie. Not a frequent commenter here--but definitely a frequent reader. Taking a step back from blogging can be the most REFRESHING decision.

    I wanted to tell you, though, that you're posts on writing have been wonderful and I'm so sorry anyone's made you feel like you don't have the right cred to write them!

    *hugs*

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  35. I understand. And I know others will understand if I have to take the same steps in the future.

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  36. I think anyone who is published has the right to give advice. That's how I feel. If you got published you must have done something right. Don't worry. Things will get better. We're all here for you, and understand that you need to take a break. I personally hate it when people say that if you are going to have a blog you have to post constantly. I know several very successful people who have blogs and don't post all the time. And I know I'd feel just like you, so don't worry! We love you!

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  37. Kathryn, I'm *not* published. Really, no cred here! :P

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  38. Natalie:

    You're a writer. And from what I, and everyone else on your blog can see, a damn good one.

    That's enough 'cred' for me.

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  39. Natalie, I'm sorry you get negative emails - it sucks that people feel it's their right to try to bring others down. Take it easy and do what you need to do!

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  40. Good for you for making the choice to put your writing first and to do what was necessary to make that happen. Your dedicated readers will all support you in that choice.

    I am sorry that some people have been negative - if there's one thing I hate about the impersonal feel of the internet, it's the freedom it gives some people to be idiots. They can do so much damage with no risk to themselves. It's a shame that it happened to you.

    Do what you need to do and stay strong!

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  41. Natalie, I've always been impressed with how honest and open you are about your writing journey and life in general. You are wise beyond your years. Thank you for everything you are and for what you bring to us through your wonderful blog. We support you and are here for you. Take care of yourself.

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  42. Remember, Natalie, it's YOUR blog. You can do whatever you want....or not. And it's your own writer's journey, too. You are allowed to have an opinion on your own journey. You are qualified to have an opinion on things in general that exist on this planet, if only for the simple fact that you exist, too!

    Take care and do what you need to do. Know that your journey is valid.

    xoxo--

    shelley

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  43. I agree w/ Bran Flakes-you're a writer. Bam, said the lady: you have street cred. :)

    Also, what Abby said. :)

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  44. Hi Natalie.

    I'd just like to say that I can relate to the whole self-esteem/rejection/fear thing and that's probably what has been holding me back more than anything. That's why I love your blog. Because it's not all sunshine and rainbows and you weren't afraid to say so.

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  45. You are awesome. Awesome. Awesome. It's hard to read publishing news for me too. I think I know how you feel. Good for you for staying healthy and sane. Hopefully we will hear some awesome news from you soon!

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  46. Yeah, faking strength won't get you far. I admire you honesty here and for taking the steps you need to get to your happy place. That place is sacred.

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  47. I have always been grateful for your honesty and this is no exception. I think you should do what's right for you.

    Also, I think that just because you're not published doesn't mean you're not a writer. YOU'RE A WRITER because you write.

    I will continue to follow your blog and your career and will pre-order from amazon your first published book.

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  48. Natalie, you may not think you have enough cred to offer advice, but you're one of the first blogs I started reading when I dipped my toes into the writing community, and you're still one of my favorites. I've learned a lot from you and you offer encouragement and inspiration to tons of people. Plus, that one time you emailed me back (you probably don't even remember), I was dancing a happy jig in my kitchen and gushing to my crit buddy about it. It was a good day :) Thanks for everything!

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  49. Natalie,

    I love your blog, and I know exactly what you mean about the hiding how you're really doing. I went through a series of terrible family tragedies, and I just remember that everyone would ask "how are you doing?" and I'd lie. It hurt, so I'm glad to know that you're smart enough not to put yourself through that.
    I have something that helped me out. A friend of mine told me a great acronym so that I could answer that evil question "How are you doing?"
    It's FINE. Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. It helped me (mostly cause I'm FINE a lot), so maybe it can help you.
    Good luck!

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  50. Natalie, it's great that you're taking care of yourself and I'm sorry anyone would even think to send you mean emails. I also want to add that while I understand your saying you don't have the cred to be giving advice, I don't agree---your writing advice is some of the clearest, most accessible and down to earth available on the net these days. I'm not saying it to pressure you to keep doing it, because I think it's great that you're taking care of yourself (would that we all knew how to do that!) but I just wanted to let you know that you clearly understand writing and the business, and you've dispersed that knowledge generously and kindly. We're all rooting for you!!!

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  51. Hi Natalie -

    I love your blog and can't imagine why anyone would send you crummy emails. Your honesty about why you're changing things up and and about your writing process in general has been very inspiring. Hoping that wonderful things come to you soon!

    Jeanne

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  52. Oh that makes me sad. People. Anyway, I still love your blog. Keep writing, even if it's only twice a week.

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