Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Twitching and Changing

My back keeps twitching. We're on day two. The right side, just below my shoulder blade. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I suppose I need to say how annoying it is purely for the sake of saying it. And it's my blog. So there you go.

I keep looking for deeper meaning behind this twitching, which I realized was pretty stupid about an hour ago as I was scrubbing dishes.

There I am, focusing on this twitch in my side, wondering what it could possibly MEAN. Am I over-stressing myself? Is there something wrong? Should I google and see if I should be worried? (I swear google is responsible for the world's increased paranoia.) I mean, maybe I'm not taking this twitch seriously enough. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's only the beginning. MAYBE THIS TWITCH TRIGGERED THE APOCALYPSE.

And then I laughed at myself, because, c'mon, it's a twitch. I did a lot of lifting yesterday. It is most certainly nothing to worry about. Yet there I was trying to milk that little muscle spasm for all it was worth.

I've always had a talent for making something out of nothing. While it comes in very handy with writing, it can get in the way of my actual life. It's called anxiety. Yes, I have anxiety. For a long time I didn't want to admit it—despite the family history—but having come to terms with this part of myself has helped me cope with it.

I've been changing a lot, guys. And my life has been changing, too. I really, really wish I could tell you all the reasons why, but alas. They are family things and personal things and even a couple writing things that I can't share.

But suffice to say my life is changing, and I'm still figuring out how to be this new me. It's like any shift in life, be it going to college or finishing, getting a new job, moving, getting married, having a child, etc. The changes happen, but it takes some work to adjust. That's where I'm at right now. I'm adjusting. Even good things require some adjusting. I still don't quite know how to be this, but I do know I need to stop worrying about every little twitch in the process. They pass. You keep going. There's no reason to turn it into a sign of the apocalypse.

Because sometimes a twitch is just a twitch.

Huh, considering that I had no clue what to right today, that turned out pretty good.


  1. Maybe you need better lumbar support? :)

    I wish we could hear about the good things!! Please tell us as soon as you can? Kthxbyeeeee!

  2. Heh. I love getting a good blog metaphor out of something like a twitch. Nicely done. :D

  3. Perhaps this "new" you is just the "real" you, trying to finally come out.

  4. I can really relate to this post right now. I'm also adjusting to being the new me.

    Thanks for sharing.

  5. When in doubt, put a heating pad on it.

    Except when it's an apocalypse twitch.

  6. From one anxiety sufferer to another...thanks for sharing! Glad you came up with this post that put a few things into perspective for me. Hope your twitch goes away soon! Even if it is nothing, it still can't be fun...

  7. I was wondering why the dark clouds came into California today--it was your twitching back? Next time, please let me know when you get a twitch. :)

  8. Oh, change. I'm right in the middle of quite a lot of it myself. (No twitching back, though. ;) Drooping eyelids aplenty. So tired.)

    Hope you get some good relax time in!

  9. Did you ever watch "Pink Panther" with Peter Sellars? He was a French detective who drove his boss, Chief Inspector Dreyfuss, crazy. He developed an eyebrow twitch whenever he was stressed out by Sellars. I think your twitch is preferable.

  10. Good post. And thanks for the reminder to not stress over every little twist and bend in the road.
    Sometimes we have to let things be what they are and nothing more.

  11. Maybe the twitching is related to the running. LOL

    Love that it's just a twitch. No more, no less, no hidden meaning. Sometimes it's these little epiphanies that are so satisfying. :)

  12. Good for you! Reading into twitches, something I'm guilty of too, can be such a rabbit hole. (On a quick, nerdy note: a massage might help. Muscle spasms under the right scapula are common with strain. Stretching your pectoral muscles might help, too.)

    And congrats to your changing life and for having the courage to change with it! :)

  13. I do emotions in extreme. I'm either anxious or completely nonchalant.