So, in no particular order:
1. I wish I didn't query so soon. While I learned a lot from querying four novels, I also think I caused myself more pain and rejection than necessary. The thing is, deep down I knew my work wasn't really ready, but I'd hoped to get in anyway. I was being lazy, trying to do as little as possible.
2. I wish I didn't spend so much time online. I have made great connections and learned a TON from being part of the online community, but at the same time it distracted me from the most important aspect of being a writer—writing. I did it the wrong way. I networked first, focused on my writing second. It should be the other way around.
3. I wish I hadn't cared so much about getting published. That probably sounds weird, but it's one of my biggest regrets. I spent more time trying to be a Published Author than trying to be a Good Writer. It was only when I put being a Good Writer first that the whole Published Author part followed.
4. I wish I'd spent more time studying the craft. I used to think my natural talent would get me through the gate. I would write stories without much thought to if the plot worked or not, if the characters were real or not, if the world made sense or not. I feel like I squandered my talent for a long time because I relied solely on talent instead of pushing myself to get better.
5. I wish I took editing seriously. I spent way too long doing edits that did not cut it. Sadly, it wasn't until my 8th book that I really learned how to revise. Before that, I would do as little as humanly possible to satisfy my crit partners' concerns. I never made big enough changes, never believed I NEEDED to make bigger changes. It was only when I really dug in, saw my story as malleable, that I truly improved.
6. I wish I didn't follow publishing news so closely. Learning about major deals and tours and cover reveals and all that only made me antsy and frustrated. I could have used my time obsessing over those things to write a stellar book. Or five. And I would have had more confidence to do it, too.
7. I wish I spent more time living and less time waiting. Sitting around refreshing my inbox got me nowhere. It sounds harsh, but I wasted a lot of time letting The Wait torture me. I could have been living, doing new things, gaining experiences that would create new stories for me to write. Writing, while it is a lot of work, also requires inspiration, and I let myself get low on that.
8. I wish I read more. I'm a slow reader, but I'm also a bit lazy there, if I'm being honest. I would rather write than read. I wasn't that passionate reader growing up—even then I preferred to tell my own stories. But I could have been learning a lot from reading more. And I always get inspired or learn something new about the craft when I read the work of others.
9. I wish I spent more time with my family. I'm not proud of it, but there was a time that I seriously lost track of my priorities. I let the pursuit of publication take over my life, and well, it made me miserable. No matter what my goals are, I should have never let it jeopardize the rest of my life.
10. I wish I would have focused on being a better writer sooner. It always comes back to your writing. That's one of the biggest lessons I've learned the past five years. Everything goes well when I stop freaking out and just get back to my writing. Becoming a good writer, always seeking improvement, writing stories that challenge my ability, this is the foundation for everything else. When I work on my craft, the rest falls into place. It may not seem like it, but all the other stuff (yes, book deals included) comes second.
It's funny you should post this today. I've been sitting here looking at all these amazing contests and wishing beyond anything that my novel was ready for querying. And then I'm thinking, "Well, maybe it's almost there. It's close enough, right?" (It's not.) This put things in perspective for me. There will be more contests and more opportunities when I'm ready for them, but it's not as important as giving the story a chance to be the best it can be.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspirational words!
Tobi, I feel you on this. I see conferences and critique opportunities, and I'm always like, just a little more. It's not just a little. I know that, but I'm also a little afraid that when it is ready, I won't know. I'm a fraid I'll be the type to wait too long to query.
DeleteMe too!!! I'm literally prepping an email for another pitch contest but I'm not even sure anymore that I want to put it out there.
DeleteNatalie, I've been doing all of the above for the last year. I'm STILL doing some of them.
I need to go into my cave and reprioritize things.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Natalie. I've been stressing about some of the non-writing but writing related things lately. It helps to be reminded that there's no need to rush, and to focus on the writing.
ReplyDeleteThose are excellent wishes that I share. A good post to take to heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this honest post, Natalie. It has always been my dream to become a Good Writer, to write something I am proud of. But due to spending too much time networking and reading industry news, I have slowly become obsessed with becoming a Published Author instead. This is a good reminder to take a step back and focus on the craft of writing itself.
ReplyDeleteThis has been my problem as well. A confidante pointed out that she noticed the change in me because I went from the joy of writing to the angst of trying to publish. I wished I'd noticed it sooner...but it's never too late.
Deletelove this post so much, because it's hard not to get obsessed with publishing.. but at the end of the day the writing has to come first, and has to be good, and that takes practice.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you have already posted on editing, but I'd love to hear what you have learned about editing that has made a difference in your stories :)
Thanks for sharing this, Natalie. I think many of us have gone through the same things- even #9. Sometimes we just have to learn things by trial and error, and that's okay, as long as we are trying to figure it out. I'm not reading any more blogs today- time to write!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone--thank you for writing this! I too fall victim to the Getting Published obsession, but letting that be the most important thing is so toxic to my own writing, and it's hard to remember that sometimes. It's nice to hear this kind of honesty from someone on "the other side" of things--definitely helps to put things in perspective :)
ReplyDeleteJust have to add my thanks for these wonderful reminders - can't say it better than I really needed these right now! thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this post. I appreciate your honesty. I'm unpublished but trying to get an agent, and it's so easy to get swept away with the obsession of getting published. Being part of the blogosphere, I see everyone else getting representation and publishing deals, and I get so focused on making it into "the club" that sometimes I don't stop and focus on the writing itself. It helps to hear from a successful writer like you that we're all human, and that what I've gone through is normal. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteInsightful and thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing these lessons!
ReplyDeleteperfect. I'm bookmarking this one to remind myself of every time I get the book in front of the writer, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteLove this list! Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeletewww.jenniferkhale.com
I find myself nodding along to a lot of this. I suppose that means I'm on the right path? Lol. Whatever "right path" might mean.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, these are great lessons. The internet and its writing community is such an amazing gift of our times, but there is a flip-side to that coin. I've definitely made conscious efforts to remember that and battle the negative stuff. This is good summation of what/why.
Oh this is a great post! I love love love it! I too have had to learn some of these the hard way and while I haven't made some of the mistakes - my biggest regret has to be that I have not had confidence in my writing. I am confident in so many areas of my writing but I have a hard time remembering that I am a good writer with good stories that need to be told. I wish I'd spent a little less time putting my writing down, and a little more time focused on making it better and believing in myself.
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear more about your editing and the steps you took to be more serious about it. I'm working on my first completed novel and while I've been writing for fifteen years, I'm definitely struggling. Anyone who says "Just write" is doing that writer a disservice. They should say "Plan, then write" because revising after is brutal when there's no plan. I probably planned this book more than others I've attempted in the past and it took me 2 hours to edit 3 pages. Yikes!
Also, if you want to read more, try Goodreads. I find that tracking my books that I'm reading and having a goal to read a certain number (60 this year) helps me keep focused on reading more. Maybe that could help you? I usually log in to GR about 1 - 2 times a week and update.
Thanks for sharing this list. I definitely recognize some of myself in that list as well.
ReplyDeleteI know there are times when I let things distract me from my writing or don't put as much effort into my writing as it deserves.
I think we can all benefit from admitting the times we didn't do things as well as we could have. We can save others from making the same ones, and I do think it helps us not make the same mistakes in the future.
This is a really great, honest post, and I think that we can all relate to what you wrote. I especially relate to the part you wrote about being a published author vs. being a good writer; one way that affects me is that sometimes I feel envious of writers I know who have succeeded a lot as writers because they've already published several pieces, and I still only have rejections (or no responses at all) to what I've sent out. But like you said, what matters most is writing; if I lost sight of that completely, then I probably wouldn't want to write anymore. And I can't imagine what my life would be like without writing.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for this. From the bottom of my heart. It is very timely.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this! I'm just starting to build my writing career and already my husband is getting ignored...ugh. I've made the decision to settle for a diploma instead of degree because university takes too much time away from actually writing. I know that sounds extreme but if there is no time to write then how do I expect to ever be a published author.
ReplyDeleteWow. Thank you for writing this. These are things writers need to hear, writers like me. Thank you for being so honest, Natalie!
ReplyDelete<3.
ReplyDeleteSuch excellent points! Thanks for sharing your take-aways. After writing my first book and starting others, I realized the need to learn more about the craft. I stepped back and sought resources to improve my writing ability. I edited my first novel and other projects using what I had learned, and I think they work so much better. I feel more confident about my writing and expect to continue to learn.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to each and every item you have on your list. Thank you for having the courage to share it.
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many of these that I can relate to. I still find myself shutting down twitter because I can't get away from the publishing news, and it just makes me feel miserable about myself. So yeah.
ReplyDeleteI love this post so much. Really, every writer - published or on the road to publication - needs to read this. Thanks for putting it all out there so clearly!
ReplyDeleteNatalie,
ReplyDeleteAs always you have put a wonderful post out there. I love your honesty and appreciate your experience in this. I'm hoping to follow your advice as much as possible. Am bookmarking this post.
Thank you for sharing and being so honest and helpful. As always!
Amazing post. Any specific advice on how you conquered becoming a better writer? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. I know I suffer from being online too much.
ReplyDeleteAll great things to learn! Thanks for sharing, Natalie!
ReplyDeleteGreat post and reminder of what is important. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Natalie. This really helps me as aspiring-to-be-published writer remember what it's really all about.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I am totally a "learn it the hard way" type and it sounds like you are too. Thanks for sharing this. It's part of your appeal--your ability to learn from your mistakes, and admit that you made them. That takes guts, girl, and you got 'em in spades. Your book release will be all the better for it, and so will your future novels.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Natalie, thanks for sharing it with us. I especially like #3 and I have to agree--it's far more important to work at becoming a better writer than becoming a published one. As you said, they go hand-in-hand, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI love these wishes. Because I'm in the midst of it right now and I struggle with all the things your talking about. The online thing really gets my time, and then I feel bad because I'm not spending time with the family. I'm seriously taking this to heart! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing. I can so identify. I did wait for a long while before querying and did anyway to show my husband I was serious. Totally wrong reason. I still had (have) so much to learn.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Amy
Thank you so much for your honesty. I used to not allow myself to network online until my writing was done. Now I waste time online often. And I continue to be upset with myself for thinking "this stage of editing" is more important than family activities, etc. This post just kicked my rear into gear! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this list, Natalie. I think I err more on the side of lack of commitment, but it's a good reminder to check my priorities every once in a while and enjoy every moment. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt's a learning process for sure. And I know I've done some of the things that you've mentioned. Thank you for being candid and sharing your thoughts on your journey.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm in this spot of regret right now. I'm doing all of these things. Mostly, it just emphasizes how hard it is to do this job in the midst of so many distractions. I'm going to leave notes everywhere for myself so I don't forget: WRITE.
ReplyDeleteThis did strike a chord - I was at a writing retreat last week (I do a day retreat once a year as a birthday thing) and mentioned at lunch to a few people that I enjoyed my writing but I also recognised how tiny the odds of ever doing this professionally are, especially writing the rather niche bit of the fantasy genre that I do, so I wasn't counting on being published as the be-all and end-all.
ReplyDeleteI got a lot of disapproving reactions for being so negative, which I thought was a little sad - being realistic about the industry, and the process, makes me happier writing what I do. I write to keep myself amused, and because I can't find anyone writing quite what I want to read (I also switch between 5 completely different WIPs, which helps when you have my short attention span...!). I am serious enough about my writing to go on retreats and study the process and the industry, but my very rambling point is that there are other reasons to do this beside obsessing over getting into print, I hope :-)
I think we all have our regrets, some I'm just learning about for myself. I'm glad you've taken stock of things and realized the areas you need to work in. It has given me a jumping point in my own life to look at as well. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post, Natalie.
ReplyDeleteI think I have some re-prioritizing to do - or maybe I need to re-prioritize a little, and also figure out how to be more efficient with my internet time so that I can have more time overall to focus on my writing. The networking is important, but without a great manuscript, what good is it?
And revising - truly revising. This is something I find I have to remember to do every time I write a new manuscript. Every new first draft represents another conscious choice to really dig deep and revise, rather than just edit.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a great list. Wow, I've done all of these things. A big "been there, done that." We should never lose sight of the writing. We're writers first. Thanks again.
#2 and #6: I'm so glad I started this writing thing before the blog era. I was blissfully unaware of so many things that would have caused me angst.
ReplyDeleteWow, Natalie--what an honest, insightful post. Thank you for sharing it. I'm going to bookmark it for the future, too, whenever I need a little about reminder about priorities.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post, thanks for sharing, apart from the wishing to read a lot more it could be me talking. It's so reassuring to know that other people go through the same things that I do.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest regret is that I didn't start my writing career years ago, but maybe I just wasn't ready then. The publishing industry has changed a lot since then, and it's much harder to get a deal now.
I think if I had a regret related to my novel it is that I was listening to a lot of people saying, "You just need to get it out there. It is good, and so it will find its audience once it is available." This is not necessarily true and having the support of a publisher in the appropriate genre, which is big enough to get reviewed by more traditional media might have served the book. It might have been useful for me to be more patient, but after a decade working on it, I was ready to have it read.
ReplyDeleteI think we might share the same brain. Thanks for this! :) e
ReplyDeleteI am bookmarking this page!
ReplyDeleteWow. Every aspiring author needs to read this. It's so true. I see newbies worrying about "branding" themselves before they've even got a book in rough draft. Learn to write first. And do some living! Brava!
ReplyDeleteI have done everything you also experienced, the main one though was my obsession in getting published,querying to every agent although I got request they soon led to rejections and it was after 100+ I realized that I had to work really hard to get the attention of the right agents.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to editing I also learned that researching a great editor is also beneficial because if I don't have a clue how to edit and revise then having a editor that also cannot objectively help me edit my novel is a wasted investment, in addition, being online is okay but I realize I have to tear myself away, twitter is so addicting but I believe every new writer needs to go through some of these experience to grow, in closing I must say I love to read, and not just YA novels since I write both adult and YA I try to expand reading many books I normally may not like to read, the best thing that I know for sure is that I love to write.