Friday, March 2, 2012

Happy Writers: Pity Parties

First, go check out my vlog for Friday The Thirteeners today! I rarely vlog, so it's not like you can see my acne ridden face all the time. I also talk about how gray characters can get in YA, with examples! I even tried to sound smart. "Try" being the operative word.

For Happy Writers today I want to talk about the undeniable fact that it is impossible to be happy all the time. I know this very well, since despite my best efforts to remain positive there have been moments where I am beyond UNhappy with my journey.

And that's okay!

We are all human after all. Being able to purge yourself of all sadness, guilt, frustration, and jealousy is not something many of us will be able to accomplish in this lifetime. And I personally believe it can be very damaging to keep those feelings bottled up. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to feel them, acknowledge them, and then let them go.

This is why I am a big fan of the Pity Party. Yes, I actually hold my own personal pity parties on occasion. They last a day, in which I am allowed to feel as miserable as I'd like. I say to myself—and sometimes even friends—all those things that scare me or frustrate me. I usually cry. I most always eat poorly. And when the day is over I move on with my life.

Yesterday was one such pity party. I just felt down, and honestly it has been awhile since I felt so cruddy about my writing. I've actually been feeling great about where I'm at, so it really threw me off for these feelings to come out of seemingly nowhere. So I took a day. I whined and worried and listened to the dark whispers of my heart.

It wasn't very fun.

But it's a good reminder that I can let myself hang out in misery or pick myself up and determine to get on with my work and my life. Sometimes you have to feel the sadness to remember that seeking happiness is far more productive and enjoyable.


  1. Some one said that one has to take the happy and the sad together. It makes us humans into balanced persons.

  2. I often have a bad writing day directly after a good one. One day, everything clicks and I love the WIP--the next day, it's like my brain is being slowly smothered.

    I also favor the occasional pity party. It lets off steam, and unburdening oneself of the angst allows room for the optimism to come back in!

  3. Hope you're feeling better. I had a mini pity party day today, two instances where my concentration went and I shouted curses around the empty house. Not fun.

  4. I've been feeling like that myself this week. Nothing like seeing other people pass you by while you are stuck in the same middle lane.

  5. Sorry it was a rough day yesterday, but I think you're right. It's important to accept those feelings occasionally. I think it helps us move past them, and like you said, appreciate the good times more and see how much better they are.

  6. I say wallow. Why not? Holding it in or denying it doesn't make it go away, and there's nothing wrong with having a bad day. Writing (along with many other pursuits) can be very emotional, and it can't always be upbeat and happy. Thanks for your honesty with this. Makes me feel better!

  7. So, so true. Feelings are easiest to deal with when they are validated, I think -- when they are allowed to be, rather than repressed or denied. I'm glad you're taking a healthy approach to your tougher emotions. I try to do the same. :)

  8. I've had more then my share of rough days in the last year and more.