All that spring cleaning I've mentioned in the previous post? Yeah, it's getting done and it's wonderful but hard. I feel like I've been learning a lot about what I do and don't want in my life in the last couple weeks, and I'm seeing more and more that social media is something I really *don't* want around on a large scale.
I have to admit to myself that it's not fun for me anymore. It's not helpful in my career like it used to be. It stresses me out when I get online and see all the STUFF. Just so much stuff. Clutter. I can't handle clutter right now.
I'm not the writer I used to be. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about writing and publishing and a big part of me is considering ending my pursuit of it all. I'm in a really negative place about it all. I have been trying not to feel like that, but it's not stopping. Every time I think about anything writing…I just don't want to deal with it. I get anxious and I feel the panic attacks coming on.
I don't know what it all means. I don't want to go into all the details of my ugly feelings in public. All I know is I need to step back in a big way.
So that's what I'm doing. In all aspects of my writing life. I have no contracts, which means it's a good time for me to take a break and see if I really want to keep doing this. I will of course keep my current event schedule, but that's about it.
See you when I see you.
Enjoy your break!
ReplyDeleteI just quit--or at least took a break--from writing my most promising novel. :P It wasn't a hard decision, really. I need a break and that's okay. My writing does not control me. I control my writing, and I can choose when I need to stop. And it's a good choice right now. I'll be praying for you! You don't need to write every day.
ReplyDeleteTake whatever time you need to recharge.
ReplyDeleteDo what you need to do. And feel free to write to me if you want. I've been there.
ReplyDeleteArgh! This feels so horrible and scary to read! Maybe I'm reading into this post more than I should but lately I've been hearing a lot about writers feeling down more often than not. It doesn't help that I recently went through a funny stint myself. I feel selfish to say I wish I knew more of what was going on in your head, as in why you feel the way you do about writing, but that's clearly not what you want to do and it's totally understandable.
ReplyDeleteI suppose a large part of me want's to know just what I could be in for!!
I wish you the best and I hope you find something equally fun and fulfilling to do in the meantime. xxx
Sometimes the mind needs fallow ground to recover and flourish with new ideas, hopes, and even, stories.
ReplyDeleteYou have to do what's right for you. Find some peace of mind and enjoy life.
ReplyDeleteYou do what you need to do. It's gonna be all right, not matter what you decide.
ReplyDeleteWishing you clarity and peace on your break! I was at the Writing for Charity conference last weekend and I loved what Mette Harrison said: don't quit. Take a break if you need, for as long as you need. But don't quit. (Unless that's what's right for you).
ReplyDeleteYou will definitely be missed, but you have to do what's best for you. <3
ReplyDelete