Thursday, March 29, 2012

Can I Be Done Now?

There's a point in every journey where you just stand there, wondering how you got into this mess, and say, "Can I be done now?"

I experience these points all the time. There are small ones that happen daily or weekly, like doing the dishes—the point where I've dug through the mound of cups, bowls, plates and the nasty pots remain. That's the point where I just want to stop and be done, where I feel like I've worked enough.

I remember this point well in college, too. The point when I'd gotten too far in to back out, but not far enough to see the end, and I just wanted to hide in a hole and not face my plight. And of course there's that point in pregnancy, where you just want to be done but you have 3 months left and WHY? Or when running, when you hit that wall where it feels like you want to die rather than take another step.

Of course, there are many of these points in writing as well. I feel this way frequently when I write a first draft or revise, when I must wait for whatever comes next.

And the sad thing is? This point is usually more near the middle than the end.

This is the truth, and yet I always want to think this feeling means I'm almost done. Perhaps because when I get a case of "Can I be done now?" I start to rush. I get antsy and careless and try my hardest to convince myself there's not as much work as there is. I begin to look for short cuts. But short cuts always come at a price, and that price is usually more work in the next phase. You can never escape the work.

One of the hardest lessons I've learned is to resist the "Can I be done now?" feeling. It's hard to do, especially when you have been working so hard for so long, and all you want is to be done but the REAL done is so far away. I have to stop myself from getting hasty, accept that I still have a bunch of work ahead of me, and then find a way to do it with some measure of cheer. In the end, when I've done this instead of rushing forward in an overwhelmed, maddened flurry, I've seen the result I'd hoped for. When I haven't, people usually tell me I have more work to do. Go figure.

15 comments:

  1. Oh I am so there with you right now. Thanks for this reminder--just what I needed!

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  2. YES! I'm totally there right now. I'm like 45k into my WiP and it's kicking the crap out of me and I just want it to be over so I can revise. But you're right--being hasty won't help anything. *sigh* :)

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  3. This is exactly how I'm feeling. I just have to keep reminding myself to be patient... it's tough.

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  4. It really is a powerful feeling! So hard to resist!

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  5. So true! I'm there tonight with a short story revision. Must—power—through!

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  6. Hey Natalie! Hi, Sweetie! I'm honoring you with the KREATIV BLOGGER AWARD. Go to my blog to see your name in bright lights, then check out the rules for the award, which I've pasted below:
    The Kreativ Blogger award comes with the following rules: 1. You must thank the person who has given you the award. 2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. 3. Link the person who has nominated you for the award. 4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. 5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers. 6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate. 7. Leave a comment on which of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated.

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  7. I don't know how, but you always have something to say that speaks directly to me and how I'm feeling atm. It's amazing! Whenever I'm lost, I check your blog. I always feel better afterward. Thanks for this post! I too like to rush things just so they're over. I suffer from chronic laziness. ;) It's hard, but you're right, I need to just accept that I have a LOT of work to do and then just do it!! You're such an inspiration, I wish you only the BEST!

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  8. Can TOTALLY relate to this. Especially with being prego!! :)

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  9. Oh, I'm SO with you on this one. I always have that feeling way TOO early, when the end isn't even in sight yet. :)

    And you're right, once I push through without rushing, I'm always grateful, but there's always that MOMENT.

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  10. I think it's the self-doubt voices that are saying that. The Fears, the I Can't Do Its. But, we can. Just keep putting one foot (or word) in front of the other.

    Play off the Page

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  11. You're my kinda lady. I love your spirit :).

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  12. Stay strong. Hurricanes may be dangerous but it's only wind. Keep writing

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  13. I can relate to this. They're tough moments and come too often and too readily. When I hit that point, I start rushing things and both my productivity and my accuracy lag far behind.

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