Look Back Every Once In A While

College graduation, 2006. Why yes, I have a baby—
this is how it's done at BYU, hehe.

Yesterday I went to my alma mater, Brigham Young University, to speak to a class that was about the publishing industry. I was asked by the lovely TA to present on Traditional versus Indie Publishing, since I've now had the chance to learn about both.

Now, even though I live pretty close to BYU, I honestly haven't been on campus in years. And certainly not since I've become a published author. As I parked in visitor parking (not the forever far away student parking like I'd done for so many years), stepped out of my car, and began the familiar walk to my old boss's office, that whole nostalgia thing came over me.

But more than that, this shocking sense of accomplishment. As I thought about the young 20-something I was when I went to that university, all the dreams she had…I realized that I was walking on campus today as the person I could only dream I'd become when I was a student.

I came extra early so I could visit with my old boss at Multicultural Student Services, Lynette Simmons, who gave me my first experiences as a writer, editor, and designer for Eagle's Eye, the Multicultural alumni magazine that has since disappeared. It was so great to talk with her, to be able to tell her all those things I learned while working for her were extremely useful (especially in going Indie).

I grabbed something to eat before the evening class, feeling strange in the food court with my very high heels, surrounded by students in much more comfortable footwear. There were so many times while I was in school that I sat in that same place, studying and eating before work. But it felt so weird to look over my notes before class, thinking that I'd be the one to teach that night.

It was so fun. The class was great, and my co-presenter, Courtney Alameda, was fabulous. The whole thing just went so well that even the snow and rain I had to walk through after didn't seem so bad (I was very glad I'd brought my umbrella just in case!).

As I sat in my car after, a little cold and barefoot since my shoes were soaked, I took a moment to be grateful. Sometimes I get so caught up in what I haven't gotten yet, in where I haven't been, that I forget I was once a student with a dream that felt impossible. Yesterday I got to hold up four books with my name on them, and I realized how much of a Big Deal that would have been to me when I was sitting in those seats.

Not gonna lie—it felt amazing. And you have to hold on to those moments in all this crazy we call the publishing industry.