But anyway, I'm in a sharing mood. Maybe it's the season. Maybe I'm being lazy. Maybe I need my ego stroked. *shrug* Take your pick.
So this is the beginning (first page) of that contemporary WIP I just finished, titled Sidekick. I don't know if it will remain the beginning—you know how that goes. It's still a cute, wrinkly rough draft, mind you. Insert more disclaimers here.
It's always the same pattern: Garret gets swarmed by girls; he picks one, dates her, gets bored, and breaks her heart. So when he sighs after Trina practically shoves her tongue down his throat, I know what's coming. It might not happen tonight, but it will happen.
I must prepare for the oncoming barrage. Since I am his best friend, all the girls campaigning to be the next trophy on Garret Taylor's arm will suddenly want to be my friends. I used to like the attention, but after three years of high school I'm sick of talking to hot girls who'd rather date him than me.
Before Trina gropes him in public, Garret stands and says something to her. I can't tell what it is over the blaring music, but it can't be the break up because she gives him that I'm-trying-to-be-the-understanding-girlfriend smile. Then she hugs him, and he pulls away first.
I give her a week tops.
He comes over to the couch where I'm sitting with a beer in hand, though I barely sip at it. I don't really like the stuff, but you can't be a football player without at least looking like you love to get drunk. Especially after smashing your rivals at Homecoming. Garret caught the winning touchdown. Of course.
He plops down next to me, running a hand through his shaggy blond hair. "This is boring."
"You haven't had enough to drink, then."
He laughs. "That's boring, too. Let's get outta here, Russ."
And there we go! Sidekick! I better hit publish before I chicken out. Sharing writing is harder now than ever. *hides*
LOVE!
ReplyDeleteYay!
ReplyDelete:D This is going to be SO good when we finally get to read all of it!
ReplyDeleteOoo, this is different for you! But I like it. I like the football player who isn't into the typical scene. I also kind of like Garret, lol, but I blame Kody Keplinger's Wes (in THE DUFF) for that... Anyway, I would totally keep reading!
ReplyDeleteA football player with depth?
ReplyDeleteIs such a thing possible?
I like it.
Sounds like something I will enjoy reading! Why is sharing writing harder than ever now? Shouldn't it be getting easier for you?
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Yay! This was a nice treat to read after revising a boring paper. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Love his voice :) Don't want to be greedy, but more, please!
ReplyDeleteGreat! I already like Russ :) Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNatalie! Thanks so much for letting us see this super-secret Sidekick snippet! The only downside is…now I want to read it all.
ReplyDelete;)
Kayla
Natalie - This sounds fantastic. Seriously. I'm loving it already!
ReplyDeleteSo fun to read something we've been hearing a lot about! Love it :)
ReplyDeleteErin, I don't know why it gets harder, but it does! The more you write and read, the more you realize how far you have to go, I guess. More than ever I'm afraid of someone being all "Yeah, that wasn't that great. Why does she have an agent again?"
ReplyDeleteWhen I was green, it was easy to share because I seriously thought I was freaking awesome, lol. Not. Kidding.
That was great. I can see why you have an agent!
ReplyDelete;)
Nice! I like the premise. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about yesterday's post. We all get like that from time to time. The important thing is to sweep the attitude under the rug so we can move forward to accomplish things. :-)
ReplyDeleteI like the beginning of your WIP. Most people in life are sidekicks... (well 50% since there's gotta be someone who's leading ha!). The voice is right on!!
Super! I would vote to "turn the page."
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet! I'm not normally one for contemporary YA but I wanted to keep reading this--a great catchy beginning and the MC's voice is already incredibly strong.
ReplyDeletereally loved this, i def want to read more :) also, i choked on my juice when i started reading because your first sentence and the first sentence in my new WIP are shockingly similar!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm wondering if it is okay to leave some constructive criticism or if that's not normally how this goes? I was a high school English teacher if that qualifies me in any way. And I love YA lit. So, I like the start. It's nice to see the sidekick from a guy's perspective; usually we see it from a girl's. Two things that kind of stick out for me - Before Tina gropes him in public - I'm confused by this statement - does she go on to grope him, is he trying to stand up before she gropes him? Not sure.
ReplyDeleteAnd then the use of Russ at the very end. I just can't here Garret saying Russ right then, right there.
This is nitpicky, but like I said, I don't know if the point here is to just show what you're working on or to get feedback.
Anyways, I really like the concept of your book.
I think it's a great start, I definitely want to keep reading. Way to go! Can I have more? :) Pretty please?
ReplyDeleteThis is really great! I haven't read YA since I was a YA, I was homeschooled until college, and I was never a football player (or a boy) and I STILL really enjoyed this! I really cared about this poor sidekick kid. I guess that just goes to show you that real emotion conveyed convincingly transcends things like genre and gender and what your high school years were like. Good job, Natalie! Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteI'd keep reading too! Hope you post more...
ReplyDeleteExpected a girl MC until the "wanted to date him more than me" line... then I was like WAIT. That's not what a normal girl MC would say.
ReplyDeleteAND THEN I was like OH IT'S A GUY. THAT IS SO INTERESTING.
Good luck! Thanks for sharing, Natalie :)
I really like this.
ReplyDeleteI'm kidding.
I LOVE this!
Your main characters sounds really cool, but more importantly, really LIKABLE! I want more!
Eerie. Just yesterday I was thinking about e-mailing you and asking what your contemporary YA was about (I don't know why, just curious).
ReplyDeleteSo thanks for answering my psychic question! This is cool. I'd read on. I can't say I identify with popular jocks much, but I can dig Russ's feelings of second best.
I love it! I didn't expect a guy MC, and I think it's a pretty good start for an awesome contemporary YA. :D
ReplyDeleteI've had post remorse a few times lately, but only BEFORE I've actually posted it. like this whole Reverb10 thing...it's more of a chore posting it when I could be posting other stuff :D But once I start I want to finish!
ReplyDeleteLoved your excerpt :) These friends sound like fun!
I LOVE this!! The voice is awesome already! I can totally feel for Trina :( Though I take it that's not who we're supposed to feel for...hehe
ReplyDeleteI like this! It's catchy, has good voice, and for a rough draft, I want to know more! Great work!
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued! These characters sound really interesting.
ReplyDeleteAww, sharing writing publicly IS hard. But I LOVE your stuff, and this excerpt is brilliant! What a fantastic voice from you and Russ. :)
ReplyDeleteI like it! Poor Russ, I already feel sorry for him. thanks for being brave and sharing with us!
ReplyDeleteI want more!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I haven't even read the snippet yet and I have to comment. Lame post remorse?! NO! Yesterday's post was AWESOME!! It was ME!! It's PRECISELY what I am struggling against RIGHT NOW! I love yesterday's post!! <-- The truthfulness of this statement is evidenced by the number of exclamation marks. I'm sure there's a formula for that; proportion of punctuation that is exclamation marks = degree of truthfulness of assertion?? Anyway...
ReplyDeleteIt just goes to show that a) you should never doubt yourself because b) there is always someone who will get something out of what you have to say. So thanks for saying what you said in yesterday's post :o)
...Also, the snippet is awesome ;) :D