Some nights I can't sleep. Or don't sleep very well. Last night was one of those.
My mind wanders when this happens. The voices start talking, which sounds really crazy but I'm a writer and most of you are, too, so you get that, right? And it's always voices that inevitably make me sad, because they're from old books that might never see the light. Tonight it was Adrie, a broken girl from a book I called Sealed. It also has elves in it.
Adrie was all, "You could rewrite me. It was a good idea. The mood is totally in line with Transparent. At least keep it in mind, will you?"
Yes, Adrie, thanks a lot for that. Because rewriting is SO FUN, and I have a lot of time laying around unused.
Then I started thinking about Beth Revis' dust jacket. Not. Kidding. Have you seen it? Seriously, go look. That is some freaking brilliant stuff, people. I've written male MCs, and I have to admit it now seems like it wasn't the smartest idea in a YA market heavily geared toward girls. This jacket? Dude. That Elder side is sweet, and a guy could carry that anywhere without shame. I'm so happy to see a book being geared to BOTH genders. The covers are amazing, and I think it was a genius move on her publisher's part.
I know, this is what I'm thinking about in the middle of the night. I like books, okay? Leave me alone. I'm tired and cranky.
And then I finally moved on to something kind of useful—Transparent edits. I'm at that point where you just want to stop, you know? At least that's how I get when I'm really close to getting a book where it needs to be. I get tired and lazy (I'll just do one chapter tonight...Do I have to press delete again? It's so exhausting to press these keys! Wahhhh.). The book is good enough, right?
Wrong. I mean, the story is good. Great, even. I'm really proud of all the work I've put in, and I think its paid off. But there's still more to do. Dude, I was editing Transparent at this time last year...before I rewrote it all. Can I be done now?
I know the answer to that. Just...no sleep, remember? I'm starting to get into the book again, starting to find the love under all that emotional junk I've heaped onto it. Poor book, it absorbed my anxiety like a sponge. Trying to squeeze it out.
Dangit, my kids are up.
I think I might try to go back to sleep anyway...you know, after I change a diaper and feed them and stuff.
I probably shouldn't blog when I'm sleep deprived. But I'm curious, what do you think about in those wee hours of the night? You know, if you're up. If you sleep like death, I don't want to know because I'll just glare at you.
I'm having a similar experience with my editing. I'm just getting past the "do I have to do this right now" phase and rediscovering everything I love about this book. That makes it a little easier to remain diligent.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with edits, and good luck squeezing in some more sleep!
I am *so* glad the book's being geared to both genders. It's amazing to me--and I really hope that it's a trend of the future!
ReplyDeleteAnd Adrie? What an awesome name (and with elves!)
i keep notebooks by the bed and jot quick notes in them - makes it easier than having to get up and go out to my computer and I can usually fall asleep easier if I am not worried about forgetting my ideas.
ReplyDeleteI have the hardest time shutting my brain off so I can sleep. But at least you had the awesome cover to think about!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!
I keep a little notebook by my bed so I can jot notes if I get a decent idea. Usually, I wake up in the morning, and I realize I've written something incomprehensible like, "Bunnies and rocking chairs!!"
ReplyDeleteBut I can sympathize on the sleep deprivation. The Pea is fighting a virus and has been waking up at the crack of dawn. Blerg.
I have a six month old baby. I'm asleep before I hit the pillow, and the only thing waking me up is the piercing shrieks from my little bundle of joy. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat said, this post me go, "Eep! Adrie's back in the picture? Yessssssss."
I'm right there with you, as depressing as it is. I often lie awake for an hour or more after I crawl into bed. To make matters worse, my husband is one of those people who falls asleep in under a minute. His contented snores make it even harder for me to sleep, not because of the noise, but at the injustice. Sleep is easy for him. It's not fair.
ReplyDeleteThe few times I've tried to get out of bed and write when this happens, my husband assumes something's wrong and comes to find me. Then I feel guilty about his worrying so I always go back to bed. I can't even use that time to be productive! It's maddening!
I'm the same way. I think about characters and background research and will this plot element really work or do I just want it to and ohmygoodnessamIevergoingtogetthisscenedonenotifIdon'tgetsomesleep!...and stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteIt must be a writer thing for sure! My husband doesn't have this problem at all. I lay awake thinking of my MC's or the current book I'm reading (if it's really good), then go read said book. It's awful.
ReplyDeleteI'm a toss-and-turn girl and my mind goes about 300 mph sometimes when I'm trying to sleep. My husband also snores...and since I've sworn off the ear plugs now... well. Anyhow! I feel your pain. And I've got a nagging WiP that's begging me to do something different with it....I do find myself thinking about that at night. What do I need to do? Will I do it? When will it end? *sigh*
ReplyDeleteOkay - I LOVE this post because I did the same thing as a teenager. I'd have these huge massive crushes on guys I didn't know very well who were completely unattainable. Totally a safe way to explore those raging teenage emotions. Alas, I learned my lesson at the end of high school/beginning of college and now am very adult and responsible about who I like =)
ReplyDeletep.s. I meditate when I can't go to sleep - try to calm down my racing mind. Breathing exercises help too!
Oh I so feel this! Am doing the final edits at the moment too and I swear every time I turn around another error pops up *arrgghh* I also have to meditate before bed otherwise the five or so voices won't shutup ;p
ReplyDeleteBirthRight The Arrival, on Amazon 1.1.2011
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I always get stuck thinking about every small detail that could possibly become a plothole, like, "If they're stuck in a cave, where do they go to the bathroom? And does everyone know it's the bathroom area? How do you get privacy? And what would you wipe with in a cave?"
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hit my second wind by 10:30 at night, so if I don't go to bed by then, my brains running full sprint until 1:00 or later.
And that dust jacket? Wow. I don't know what the book is about, but I want it.
Beth, I sure hope it's a trend! No, I hope it's the wave of the future and never goes away.
ReplyDeleteMisty, the reading thing! That's me too! I can't read before bed otherwise I'm doomed to sleeplessness.
I am the absolute same way, especially when I'm in the middle of writing a first draft. Sometimes I'll make a point of keep my writing journal on the nightstand, but other times I'll make a conscious decision to keep it on my desk so that I have to force myself to walk over and get it. It sounds silly, but knowing that it's over in my workspace sometimes separates me from the ideas and book enough to let me get some rest (of course, there are also times when my mind WILL. NOT. TURN. OFF. I blame my characters!). Generally, though, I try to take an hour or so before bed and ease myself out of that work/nonstop thinking mode. I've found it to be a huge help!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm like this too. I'll think of a scene or a few lines before bed, and if I don't get up and write them in a notebook, they'll go on replay in my head, over and over. It's my mind's way of making sure I don't forget things, I guess. It drives me insane. I often wake up with entire blog posts memorized.
ReplyDeleteOh, my, yes, I so very well understand the "good enough" problem...
ReplyDeletehttp://heimbinasfiction.blogspot.com/2010/03/close-enough.html
Sorry, I'm one of those people who can sleep anytime, anywhere, no matter how stressed. (There have only been a handful of exceptions.)
ReplyDeleteBUT my mind is CONSTANTLY thinking about book stuff when I'm awake, so I do understand that part, at least.
And wow, Beth's dust jacket is sweet!! They should do that more often.
*glares at Kristan*
ReplyDeleteWow. That is an amazing book!
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to turn my brain off sometimes... and the same line will go over and over until I get it out on paper-- annoying!
Since I've been Preggo, I haven't had much trouble sleeping because of the pills I have to take.
ReplyDeleteBUT, I dialouge in my sleep. I rework phrases, actions, sitauations. I don't know how many times I wake up in the morning asking myself how a gremlin got became part of a conversation. It's not a productive way to work...
When I'm writing in the middle of the night I think OMG...this stuff is brilliant!!! Then the next day I'm like...what the heck was I even writing about?lol
ReplyDeleteOr I try to figure out how I am going to get all my Christmas shopping done in one weekend with the least amount of stops possible. My thoughts are soooo interesting.lol
I've been in the "I don't want to do this" phase for about a month and a half now. It's gotten really frustrating because I want to finish but I don't want to work. I keep editing a page or two at a time then quitting for the day.
ReplyDeleteAs for the late night thinking, it usually happens as I'm trying to fall asleep. Mostly I find that I dwell on what I need to change, wondering if things are going well together, and trying to come up with a title. It was during one of these almost asleep times that I discovered that I needed to kill a character. That was disappointing and exciting at the same time. But mostly I just dwell on the title thing. I have been working on this forever and I still don't have a title.
I hope you revise your book. Because I love stories about elves.
ReplyDeleteMy mind usually spins at night about my story, work, and everything else I have to do. I can totally relate to being up in the middle of the night and knowing I'm not going back to sleep before the busy day starts.
Every time I turn out the lights, I know it's gonna take at least 20 mins, probably longer, to get to sleep, and I go to sleep daydreaming about my characters from last year's NaNo novel. Yes, I want to be her, because she has HIM, and I love him. :P
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way- my mind just races when I lie down, thinking of everything from my own book, to books I'm reading, and of course my schedule the next day. Can't shut it off!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I sleep like death and then most of the time I'll lay down and everything wants to sleep BUT my mind. My characters don't talk to me, my books does. It tells me that I could add in an extra scene or two--or five. And then the next night it'll tell me that I can cut out seven characters to slim up the fattening manuscript.
ReplyDeleteAs long as I get SOME sleep, I'm cool with it.
I think about all the stuff I haven't done that I need to. Like work. I feel guilty for using work time to write, or writing time to work. Either way, I spend the wee hours feeling guilty. It's fun.
ReplyDeleteTransparent rocked the first and second time. I can't IMAGINE how hard it rocks now.
I think pretty much about the same stuff. *sigh* On submission now so waiting and getting rejections and waiting and getting rejections and waiting. The waiting is driving me crazy (though by sharing your story, you have given strength to lots of us). I've kind of been walk around with a tight feeling in my chest since the manuscript went out. So right now, the thoughts that keep me up at night are, maybe I should have changed this, maybe I didn't really work out that scene, maybe this character should have been more like this...but, there's not much I can do now, except keep waiting. And hoping these other characters for my WIP take the edge off a bit. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteHope you get some sleep.
I wonder if all writers are 3 parts insomniac.
ReplyDeleteDuring Nanowrimo, I don't get much sleep. It's not because I purposely deprive myself. The danged characters just don't shut up. Outside that, my thoughts before sleeping are also completely random. MFA programs, working as a translator, going to Italy, etc.
also writing stuff. if not writing stuff, then book promotional stuff. i think it's great that your characters come back to nag you--it means that they are real and beloved, as characters should be.
ReplyDeleteOh, the voices! For some reason the voices in my head ALWAYS get louder when I'm trying to get to sleep. And if I don't actually sit up to write it all down, it will be gone in the morning.
ReplyDeleteOh, and that dust jacket! I couldn't believe it when Beth put up the pics. Amazing and so smart.
If I'm not writing stuff, I'm thinking about life, dating, the future, so many things that really shouldn't be thought about with a tired brain.
ReplyDeleteHey, at least your thoughts are productive! :)
Yeah, I haven't slept well in months. I'm up at least every other hour. And then I've been having such vivid and odd dreams lately. I can remember two or three per night now when before I used to have a hard time remembering one a week.
ReplyDeleteI'm blaming it on the pregnancy hormones :P