Monday, October 29, 2007

The Dream Realized

Today I sent out my first agent query letter. Wow, I was shaking just pressing the send button. Even after spending nearly two years writing and editing this book of mine, I still have a hard time believing any of it happened. There was a time I thought I would never write a book, even though is has been one of my greatest dreams since I was young.

I can remember being a young child, writing my little book Oh Brother! The words are so simple, looking back at it, but I remember how funny I thought it was. My own little drawings I thought were masterpieces, now they are cute scribbles. I remember being frustrated that I couldn't do it better, that I didn't have more time, that I was only a little kid and my words didn't come out just the way I wanted.

As I got older I wrote and wrote. I still remember learning the essay for the first time–I'm sure I am one of very few that was in love with the whole concept. I would get a pad of paper and pick a topic and write my essay. For fun! In junior high I got up the courage to write some books that I had ideas about. I let my friends read them and they begged for more, but I never finished any of those stories. I got scared. I told myself I shouldn't get my hopes up for being a writer, but still the thought lingered over years. So I settled on expository writing and persuasive writing, instead of my creative writing beginnings. It was here that I could get a job; make a living; all that jazz.

But now I'm here, sending in a much bigger creative book as a much bigger kid. And still I feel the way I did then–completely in love with writing and all its dips and curves, and terrified that this is what I want. I have wanted to give up so many times, and I have ignored this dream for a long time, believing that there was no way I could ever do something so grand as publish. Well, maybe I won't ever get published, but somewhere between that 5-year-old kid and the 23-year-old me I've finally got up the gumption to give it a try no matter how hard I fall. So now when I'm eighty and still dreaming away, I can at least say I gave it a good honest try, and I know that will give me some amount of peace.


  1. Dreams are realized through your great effort and you've made great effort so, keep it up and your dreams will certainly come true. I'm so proud of you. I read the original stories and would still love to read your current book. Let me know how I can do that...Mom

  2. :D

    (Also, your mom is so cute!)

    So much of this post resonates deeply with me. Although, I always knew this was my REAL dream, the real goal I was working towards. Which is why I quit my "real job" and became a secretary, as scary as that was for an overachiever like me. (An overachiever whose friends are all crazy successful in their careers and only going higher, quickly...)

    Like your mom said, dreams are realized through great effort, and you're certainly putting that in. I know your dreams will come true. :)