Friday, February 17, 2012

Happy Writers: Being Honest With Yourself

I think what brought me the most UNhappiness the past three or four years writing has been lying to myself about where I was at. I always wanted to be more and never appreciated the place I was, and to be honest, I kind of regret that.

As I've dug myself out the depression that was 2010, I've found the thing that has helped most is being honest with myself and my capabilities and my time. I didn't take care of myself like I should have, instead opting to sacrifice my own mental well-being for career. It wasn't good, and I've learned now that there are some things that I shouldn't have given up in the pursuit of publishing.

I can't tell you what you need to change in your life, but I highly recommend taking a step back and being honest with yourself and what might be making you unhappy.


  1. I can relate to your post. I am taking that step back myself. Mine was with my personal life. And, now I'm pursuing things that I enjoy and make me happy.

  2. This is a timely post for me. Well said, Natalie!

  3. Great advice. I'm glad you're feeling better.

  4. I really like this post, because I can really relate to what you wrote about. Sometimes I try to avoid what is making me unhappy, but that doesn't make me any less unhappy. I think one thing I might try is making a list of all the things that are making me unhappy right now, and then I'll try to make a list of all the things that do make me happy. I think it might help me figure out my feelings more easily.

  5. YES! I spent the first couple of years desperately wishing I was further along in my writing journey. I was so focused on BEING PUBLISHED that I let everything else slide. Now, I'm much more relaxed, and much more realistic. About 18 months ago, I took the focus off BEING PUBLISHED and decided to work toward being a better writer.

    As always, Natalie, great post!

    1. Jade, you completely captured my own struggles over the past few years. Yes. And you are SO on the right track now. Focusing on bettering my writing is was made me not only happy, but a soon-to-be published writer:)

  6. I protect myself against life with my writing. I protect myself against writing with life. If I put too much focus on one or the other I feel woefully unbalanced and start getting a bit depressed.

    Whenever I feel that "push" that I should be doing better than I am, I know it's time to step away from the computer and go for a run or meditate. That perfectionism can be dangerous....

  7. This is very timely for me, Natalie. I'm slowly digging my way out of depression, with help.

  8. I'm new to your site, but I have to thank you for this post. My problem is a little opposite of what you're describing but your post helps me pull back to myself.

    I am a writer. I am not a published author. It's been a very long journey for me to even accept that I deserve to call myself a writer. Now I just need to deal with all my self-doubts and poor self-esteem so that my writing isn't crippled anymore. :)