Friday, August 12, 2011

Happy Writers: Walking Through Ghost Walls

It's easy to view publishing like a caste system. You have the best sellers, the published, the soon-to-be, the agented, and the unagented. You have the rock star agents, the solid agents, the newbie agents. The Big Six, the small publishers, the self-publishers. If you wanted, you could view this all as rank. You could decide to put someone on the bottom and someone on the top. You could decide to treat them that way, too.

Sometimes it feels like there are insurmountable walls, made of thick brick and covered in "No Trespassing" signs, built around these groups. It can feel like you're not allowed to talk to the other groups until you, in fact, are permitted to enter the next wall.

But here's the thing—those walls aren't really there. They might look real, but if you tilt your head a little to the left you'll see that they're holograms made from assumptions. Assumptions that you don't belong, that you aren't good enough, and that the people on the "other side" think that, too. Those walls are nothing but the ghosts of insecurity, and the only thing they're really doing is holding you back.

Published authors? They are busy folk, but they were once unpublished, too. They are the people they've always been. As I've gone through this journey, I'm always surprised by how...the same I am. Unfortunately, I have not morphed into a more exalted creature every time I've made it past another milestone. I still handle things the way I've always handled them—with a lot of hard work, thought, and panic. And the other writers I've seen "ahead" and "behind" me stay themselves as well.

I know it might sound crazy, but there is no real difference between you and a best-selling author, save the fact that they happened to write a book that reached a large audience. We are all writers. We're at different stages, sure, but that doesn't mean we can't reach out to each other, in both directions. I absolutely LOVE hearing from writers, and this year alone I've made several writer friends from all stages in the process.

Now, I want to make this clear, I'm not giving you a pass to send John Green or Maureen Johnson or Sarah Dessen emails of family pictures and proclamations that you should be their best friend. I'm just saying that they, and every other writer, are people (generally extremely nice people, too, despite how busy they are). Yes, writers have "established" friends, but that doesn't mean you are unwelcome. Yes, they tend to hole up around deadline, but that doesn't mean they are shutting you out (It means they are shutting EVERYONE out, maybe even their spouse.). Yes, it can be intimidating to put yourself out there, but the only wall between the published and unpublished is the one you make. So why not make it a pretty white picket fence with a gate that swings both ways?

22 comments:

  1. Great post and so true! It's easy to think those walls are there. Then I attend a conference or hear other authors speak and realize how much we writers are so similar. It's inspiring to know that.

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  2. Oh, wow. Love this post. I definitely feel like an outsider because I'm unagented (again). And feel like published authors won't want to talk to me because I'm at the bottom of the pole!

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  3. I've found that Twitter is a great way to bridge the imaginary gap. When I first started using Twitter I was surprised by how many people I considered unreachable would actually take the time to answer me. Truth be told, I still think it's pretty cool. :)

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  4. Yes! I often feel that way, but one of the beautiful things about Twitter is that it helps break down some of those walls. I don't always get responses to my Tweets (especially if it's a big author) but sometimes if I'm nice or funny an awesome author will say hi back! And that's always thrilling.

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  5. I actually began to think this way when I went to one of YOUR classes at a conference a couple years back. I saw this girl, who had the dream agent, on her way to big things and she was...normal. I thought, hey if she can do it maybe I can too. I'm sort of normal.

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  6. I know I feel this way a lot but it's nice to remember that we are all authors and we do share a lot of similarities, whether we're an NYT bestselling author or unagented.

    I also agree with the previous posters and Twitter. I need to use it more often--I feel more connected with others when I do. :)

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  7. I couldn't agree with you more, Natalie. There's so much energy wasted on arguing one side over another, or how we're not as good as some other author who got there first.

    We're all writers. We're all in this crazy game together. We're each on our own path, making it our own way.

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  8. This is great! Thanks for another great post. =D

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  9. So very true. I was intimidated by my professors in my MFA program at first. I thought, "They are award-winning! They teach college! They are so much better than me." But they're not (I mean, they are better than me at writing, but not at being a person.) It's hard not to feel in awe of published authors, but then I remember: once they were just like me. And hopefully one day I'll be like them. ^_^
    PS--was your profile pic taken at the Riverwoods shopping center in Provo? It looks just like the windows to the bridal shop where I used to work. They were very popular picture spots.

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  10. I work as a teacher and these assumptions occur there, too. Many people don't want their kids to be with teachers who are either brand new or near retirement. But that is a false assumption since no one knows how much work we all put into being the best we can be.

    And I'm a veteran teacher but a newbie writer. Which might explain all the craziness in my life. ;)
    erica

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  11. Sometimes I don't comment on here because I always end up saying the same thing--So True--to all your posts. But I'll say it again. So true. Now, will you work on writing something I don't agree with so we can have a fun argument? :)

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  12. We all need each other in a variety of ways, as critiquers, reviewers, commisserators, mentors, readers, etc. Thanks for a great post!

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  13. Yes! I've always believed this, but it's nice to hear it from someone "ranked" higher than me. :)

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  14. I'm just going to quote Bruce Dickinson and say, Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you -- one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

    Babies.. before we're done here.. y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers.

    (Never question Bruce Dickinson)

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  15. This is exactly the kind of post I needed to read today - thanks, Natalie.

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  16. Thanks for the post, Natalie. I do admit that I'm more hesitant about interacting with people who are ahead in the writing journey, not because I think there's a wall or because I think they're better than me, but because they tend to be much busier and have so many people who are interested in talking to them. I know that there are many genuinely nice and very successful writers who take the time to respond on Twitter despite their busyness, and it is so awesome when they do, but due to the sheer volume of comments and emails they get, it's not likely they can spare the time to build a relationship with everyone who wants to be their friend. You mentioned yourself that you used to know and visit the blogs of all of your blog readers, but that's just not possible now that you have so many. So while I'm happy to interact with writers farther along than I am (and am ecstatic when they respond), sometimes I prefer to spend my time and effort reaching out to writers who aren't as far along on the journey, because they're more likely to be interested in reciprocating, interacting on a personal level, and building a two-way relationship than established writers, who can't possibly do that for all of their fans. What do you think?

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  17. This is so true. And we really are the same person and equally worthy whether we have an agent or are published. Thanks for sharing this.

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  18. Very true. Nice thoughts, Natalie. There's room for all of us in this writing life.

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  19. Linda, I think that's totally normal! And not only normal, but productive. It's important to have friends to share the journey with, and nothing has been more comforting to me than finding people who were querying like me, or on sub like me, or now in that in-between deal and publishing.

    But also, I would say if you really want to talk with a writer "ahead" in the game, don't be too hesitant in make contact. If after that they seem busy, then go from there. There's no harm in saying "Hi, your books are awesome and so are you." :) No writer hates an email like that, hehe.

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  20. A) This is a wonderful post, and reinforces what I've been reading about this weekend in The Help -- these lines we draw between ourselves and other people are nonexistent. They're in our heads. We can erase them.

    B) I've seen this too when I've joined NYT bestselling author Jamie Ford for his Wed afternoon Google+ hangouts. Other published authors (including Aprilynne Pike) have joined in, as have self published or unpublished authors like myself. It's very cool to see how different and yet how very similar we all are, in many ways.

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  21. Awesome post, Natalie! Thank you for the reminder that the big divide between published and unpublished authors isn't that big at all.

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  22. This really hit the spot. Sometimes (most of the time), I think... if I could just get published, I won't be such a loser! I constantly have to remind myself... Val, you'll ALWAYS be a loser. Hehe, no... I have to remind myself that being published would have no real affect on my social life.
    Or attitude.
    Or personality.
    Or bank account. XD
    Those seem like changes that have nothing to do with being published. Not just in theory, but in practice!
    And yet, if I were being honest, I'd say I still believe deep down that I'd feel more relevant as a person if I were published. It's part of the drive that keeps me writing during those lags when I don't want to.
    Does that mean that, deep down, I'm writing for the wrong reasons?

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